Foreplay, Sexual and Otherwise

By

Foreplay, Sexual and Otherwise
There are two types of foreplay. Both lead to the bedroom but one can save your relationship.

Those warm (or dirty) words spoken to each other as he is getting ready to go to work, is what the two of you will remember all day. Just because you have to rush off, feed the kids and take them to school and he is late for his board meeting and because there is absolutely no time for sex until date night on Saturday night does not mean your day today and every day cannot be lightly and gently infused with tiny visions of feathers and lingerie, or leather and whips if that is what you like.

Here is how. Small communications that let each other know how much you care, and also how much you desire them can do wonders, not to mention bring a smile to their face, butterflies to the stomach, a tingle to the spine and yes, maybe even to down there. Leaving little post it notes that he/she can read when you are not around, voice mails, emails, text messages with  romantic, loving, appreciative, sexy or even dirty words and phrases can let a warm glow into someone's stressful or even humdrum day and leave them eager to arrive home to see you. No, it might not lead to sex tonight, nor tomorrow night, and maybe not even this weekend, because I know you all lead busy lives, but that is not the point. It will cause you to think about your partner more, it is likely to prevent your heart and mind from swaying or wandering when you two are busy with projects outside the home, it might actually make you miss your partner which, believe it or not can do wonders for your relationship. Couples who actually spend less time together, have a chance to miss each other, are less likely to get on each other's nerves and are more likely to stay together. And, besides, they say the best way to catch a bee is with honey, so, why not try a little sugar to catch your honey?

Body language is important in foreplay too. A smile, a wink, a gentle touch on the arm, a lick of the lips even when you are in a hurry to get to your meeting shows you care and leaves an imprint, a fond imprint that can not only lead to increased desire and arousal, but can also shield you two from the days when the rest of the world may bring you down. Being sexy, fliratious, playful and dirty even when you are not about to have sex is the key to keeping your relationship sexy.

I like to think that these are all a part of foreplay, and the actual physical things like kissing, touching, and oral sex which can actually increase the temperature and speed of your heartbeat, lead to arousal and ultimately sex and orgasm are just the icing on the cake. All of it, inclusive, can also increase the passion and warmth between you and your mate leading to a more fulling and satisfying relationship all around.


                                 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Moushumi Ghose:

Ditch The Clothes And Love Your Birthday Suit!

By

We are such a clothed society. As a soceity we definitely like to show a lot of skin, we like fashion that exposes the midriff, the shoulders, short skirts that show off legs, low cut blowses that show some cleavage, but when it comes down to it, at the end of the day, nudity as a whole is something that is not highly accepted, nor is it publically legal in ... Read more

Yes! 6 Steps to Having Healthy Hook Ups

By

I read a lot of articles bashing "hook up culture" — its a term du jour, kind of like "menage a trois" was in the 80's — but this term unlike the latter, is not associated with being sex positive and it's usually not written about in a positive light. We live in a society where it often seems like we ... Read more

Why You Should Not Ignore The Symptoms of Painful Intercourse

By

Of the many psychological problems which interfere with sexual functioning, one of the most devastating and detrimental which can also have damaging effects on dating and relationships, not to mention self esteem, confidence, body image and so much more is having painful intercourse- a condition which is also known as vaginismus. Painful intercourse or ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.