Foreplay, Sexual and Otherwise

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Foreplay, Sexual and Otherwise
There are two types of foreplay. Both lead to the bedroom but one can save your relationship.

In our society, foreplay is commonly thought of as certain sexual acts that come before the act of intercourse itself, like oral sex, manual stimulation and kissing. Traditionally we have come to think of foreplay as a series of acts, of the intimate kind, both psychological and physical between two people, specifically meant to increase sexual arousal, that lead into the sex act itself and ultimately leading to climax. "In human sexual behavior, foreplay is meant to create and increase sexual arousal, in anticipation of sexual intercourse," From Wikipedia...


I would like to challenge this concept of foreplay for just a few minutes. I'd like to suggest that things like kissing, oral sex, manual stimulation are actually a part of sexual interaction, sex and sexual foreplay and turn your attention to another type of foreplay. I will call it intimate foreplay and it is made up of all the sweet, sexy, romantic, loving things throughout our days, our weeks and our relationships that make us passionate and loving towards our partners on a regular basis. I would like to suggest another idea that foreplay starts from the minute you wake up and continues on throughout the day, week, month etc.. culminating sometimes in sex and continuing to build and grow even after the sex act is over, or even if sex does not happen.

Wikipedia continues to say that foreplay is..."Any act that creates and enhances sexual stimulation between the sex partners may constitute foreplay, including kissing, touching, embracing, talking, and teasing (teasing, in this case, may include methods of satisfaction, such as erotic sexual denial). The manual or oral stimulation of erogenous zones may be considered foreplay, as well as being part of the sex act itself. Sexual role playing, fetish activities, and BDSM can also be considered foreplay, though they may also accompany intercourse and not just precede it."

Generally speaking Wikipedia and most people think of and describe foreplay as the specific acts which precede sex to which I would like to add that the aforementioned gestures they mention such as touching, embracing, talking teasing, kissing, plus the gestures I'd like to add flirting, talking dirty, talking sexy should be used not only during traditional foreplay but continuously throughout the day, your week and your relationship. Ideally if woven into not just the sexual side of your relationship but into the life of your relationship as a whole, it will help to create an ongoing atmosphere of kindness, intimacy, romance and make being sexual part of your relationship.


Too often, I hear couples complaining that their sex life has lost it's luster. If we change our concept about sex, sexuality, foreplay, intercourse and orgasm then we are more likely to have more satisfaction in these areas. In other words incorporating all those sexy things that you do right before sex, into your daily world in some subtle manner, into your daily relationship with your partner if you want to see your relationship stay sexy, stay warm, stay intriguing, and mysterious, whatever it requires for you to stay attracted to and sexual with your partner.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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