Change Today To Save Your Relationship

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Change Today To Save Your Relationship
Sometimes the tiny steps we need to make our partner feel special again, are met with resistance.

This article however, is about saving your relationship and taking the small steps needed to do so, while there is still time. Let’s say you come to the conclusion after the first few sessions that this relationship is worth saving, and that you are committed to saving it. (Read: You must be committed to the relationship if you’re goal is to save it.) Sometimes I see that despite the commitment and desire to save the relationship, that the change that needs to take place, sometimes the smallest, tiny steps for example needed to make our partner feel loved and special again, are met with huge amounts of resistance. Often times the desire and need to change doesn’t happen until the individual is faced with a crisis, for example a spouse/partner decides they want to leave the relationship, and unfortunately at that point, sometimes its too late. Making small changes along the way is absolutely up to you, and it’s important to recognize that these small changes matter. Holding on to resentment, anger, blaming your partner for the way things are, are all just excuses to avoid change. Yet, so many people resist making changes for the very reason that it is, “too awkward and weird,” “it doesn’t feel natural,” “I shouldn’t have to change,” or “I’m already doing that but my partner doesn’t respond.” You have the choice every day to say, “This is the start of a new day, and yesterday’s anger is a thing of the past.” You have a choice to forgive and start over new every single day. You have the choice to tell your partner how much you love and appreciate them today, by looking them in the eye and forgetting the woes of yesterday. You have the choice to tell your partner how sexy, special or important they are, how good they smell, and how elated they make you feel. So, no you haven’t said it in years, or you haven’t looked them in the eye and made it imperative that they hear you, well today is your chance to make a change. At the end of the day, the choice is yours. To suck up the emotions of the awkward moment, to recognize that this moment is only awkward the first few times you do it, and then when it becomes a part of your everyday repertoire it will become easier and easier, and will grow and develop into newer different things that will only make your relationship and desire to love flourish. It is up to you. Stop thinking about it and just do it. Make a stand to save your relationship today or let another day go by.

 

Mou is a Los Angeles based sex therapist. Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com.

This is an excerpt from her book, Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon.com

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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