Are You A Fixer?

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Are You A Fixer?
Allowing our partners to have their feelings can build healthy autonomy into a relationship.

As a society, however, we take on our partner’s problems, right? In sickness and in health, till death do us part, right? Well, yes, helping out with issues and problems is part and parcel to being in a relationship, but taking on the problems as one's own, or feelings as one's own, may leave the other individual bereft and devoid of making adult decisions and may leave them handicapped.  Worse yet, not only does it leave them in a less powerful position to handle their own life, it sets up the scenario where the "fixer" also becomes the responsible party, the one to blame when things don't get fixed. Most “fixers” are doing it to be helpful, but in the end it often does more harm than good.

 

Couples should definitely be there for each other, stand by each other, and give moral support. But the lines often get crossed when partner's try to take on or fix the other's problems, without a clear . By learning the difference and recognizing your own fixing behavior you can gain some well needed autonomy in adulthood and trust in your relationship.

Moushumi Ghose is a Sex Therapist in Los Angeles, CA. 

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Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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