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Is This Chemical Messing Up Your Love Life?

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how oxytocin is ruining your relationships
Love at first sight? More like lust at first sight.
The so-called 'love hormone' may be why you fall head over heels in love too quickly.

When you feel the oxytocin, dopamine, testosterone or whichever chemical reactor is making you feel pathologically, possessively or obsessively attached to someone who doesn't seem to be giving you back quite as much, it means it's time to relax. Be a friend. Allow the relationship to unfold in its own time.

Do you even want what you think you want? Take a deep breath, focus on yourself, take a walk, go for a jog, take a yoga class and remind yourself there are other forces at work here. What you crave and desire, you will only push away by clinging too hard. People want to feel appreciated, and genuinely liked before they will respond in jest.

More from YourTango: 6 Ways Men Can Speak Up About Their Sexuality

I think this whole concept that there are hormones responsible for our attachments is fine, but I like to remind people we are also in control of how we respond to emotions and feelings within our bodies. While you may feel compelled to hound the object of our affections down as a result of chemicals in your brain, you have to stop and think: "Is this really what I want?"

More from YourTango: What Society Can Learn From The Kink And Poly Communities

Moushumi Ghose is a sex and relationship therapist and expert, based in Los Angeles. She is the host of The Sex Talk. Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.

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Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality.

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Get Mou's eBook at Marriage, Money and Porn: A Quick and Easy Guide to Navigating Your 21st Century Relationship

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: West Hollywood, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Moushumi Ghose:

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