7 Things You Need To Know About Sex


7 Things You Need To Know About Sex [EXPERT]
Think you know it all? Think again.
There is more to sex than arousal, intercourse and orgasm.

Did you also know that symptoms of arousal vary from day to day, situation to situation, moment to moment? Yes, we expect that our arousal levels and symptoms to always be the same. So guys and gals, give yourselves and each other a break. When it looks like things are not rising to the occasion, so to speak, or falling flat. Instead of focusing on what is going wrong, change the scenario so you can focus on the passion, the intimacy, the scent, the breath and enjoy the fact that you are in someone else's sensual presence. Get out the lube, get out the lotion, and do other fun things like mutual masturbation, oral sex, kissing, taking a bath together, and reading erotica.

3. Lube is your friend. Too many people have this idea that using lube is somehow bad because it means he/she is not aroused enough to have sex. We need to stop taking our bodies ways of expressing arousal so personally. We are chemical beings with endorphins, hormones and glandular fluctuations happening with various cycles. We cannot control every aspect of our sexual response. Stop taking it so seriously and start embracing the far reaches of sexuality. Bust out that lube.

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4. Sex toys are good! Too many people also have this idea that toys somehow suggest we are not pleasing our partner, or they are not pleasing us. Please stop with this nonsense. Sex toys provide us with extra fun in ways the human body could not provide. We need to stop believing what they teach us in Hollywood and embrace reality. The truth is that human sexuality is far more complex, and interesting than boy meets girl and fulfills all of her needs with just one poke of his penis into her vagina. 4 Reasons Why Women Should Masturbate More Often

5. Orgasm is not the end all be all. Sure, achieving an orgasm with your partner is great, but what about all the other great activities in between? Yes, I am talking about the kissing, the touching, the mutual masturbation, the dirty talk, the erotic story telling, and the role play, yes, all of that other stuff I mentioned before that is also a part of sex is all part of the fun, excitement, passion and romance too. By becoming too focused on achieving orgasm we have become focused on the end goal, we have forgotten to enjoy the journey. Sorry ladies and gentleman, sex should not be goal oriented, sex should be about enjoying and savoring every delicious moment with your partner.

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6. We focus so much on arousal, intercourse and orgasm that we have lost sight of what it means to be sensual. Don't let the medical industry or Hollywood dictate what you already know about sex and relationships. Erectile dysfunction and arousal dysfunctions do not exist. In general, they are a natural ebb and flow of human sexuality.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality.

Visit her website at

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Get Mou's eBook at Marriage, Money and Porn: A Quick and Easy Guide to Navigating Your 21st Century Relationship

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: West Hollywood, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Moushumi Ghose:

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