6 Steps To A Conscious Single Hood
By Moushumi Ghose. Posted on .
1. Get rid of the idea that you are undeserving of love, or that you are unattractive, or that you will be single forever. These concepts suggest that you don't have a lot of control over your life, and that you are a victim. Instead, seize your life. I want you to list all the positive wonderful things in your day to day that you love about being single.
2. Recognize that you love those things about being single, and that you have chosen in this very instant to steer clear from the things which invade your solitude, your independence, and your single hood. Make a list of all the choices you have made in your single life, that got you to where you are today. Make sure you don't second guess your choices. You made them for a reason.
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3. Open your mind to the idea of relationships. Think about previous relationships, think about what you did not like about them and what you did like about them. Write these down. Be sure to be fair.
4. Now, clear your mind from the negative, and be honest with yourself. What are your fears about getting into a relationship? Admit that you may have some, and write them down. Make a conscious effort to accept your fears, and sit with them. Meditate on your fears, think about them. Cry if needed. This is an important one. When we avoid acknowledging that which paralyzes it, it continues to control our lives.
5. Write down what would make your fears more tolerable. Is there something you can do to manage your fears, either in a relationship or out? What is holding you back?
6. Visualize you in 1 year, in 5 years. Who are you and how does someone else fit into that picture? Are you leaving enough room for someone else to enter in your life?
Sometimes we are ready to accept others into our lives, and sometimes we are not. Either place is okay. There is no wrong or right. Being single is a very acceptable way of life, and many people are quite happily single. There is a myth perpetuated that single people are not happy. This is not true. If you are single, there may be a possibility that you are not ready to share yourself with another person. You are the expert on your needs and on your life. Be honest with yourself and decide what part of being single you do like, and what part you would like to change, if any at all.
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Mou is a Sex Therapist based in Los Angeles. She is the host of The Sex Talk, a talk show dedicated to sex education on the web, and Sex Love and Rock 'N' Roll, an internet radio show dedicated to raising awarness about sex. She is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn,, an e book.
