4 Steps To Get Back on Your Feet After a Rejection

Love, Heartbreak

Rejection can impede growth and can happen to everyone, whether you are single or in a relationship.

So, how do we move on from rejection? Well, first, it is important to recognize that rejection is a universal experience. People in the dating world have to face rejection, and people in relationships also face rejection from time to time from their lover or partner. We do not control when someone may turn their back on us, or when someone may simply just be busy doing something else.

The second thing to do is to look at rejection as a form of trauma. Rejection can be severe to mild. Just because it's not of the violent or physical nature, being rejected from love, romance, passion or sex sometimes has even longer standing effects. For many people love is the only thing that matters. Therefore these traumatic experiences related to the heart, do quite often set us back. And really by looking at the experience and acknowledging the pain of the experience, understanding the severity of the pain is the only way we can begin to heal.

The third thing is to be open and observant to new experiences. Even the smallest of positive exchanges with people can remind us that life ebbs and flows and provide us with a corrective emotional experience which has the effect of negating the trauma. Spending time with friends and loved ones can remind us that we deserve to be treated well and with respect, and if applicable, maybe not to take the rejections so deeply to heart. Spending time with people who are reciprocators is so important to happiness and health, and this can shed the light on the rejector, is he/she rejecting you on an ongoing basis vs one time or one aspect? 

And finally, forgiveness is key. Forgiving the person who rejected us, of course, this is mainly for ourselves.  Knowing their rejection is more about them than it is about us, and then of course forgiving ourselves. We are human, we all crave love, but sometimes it's  not the right time, place or person. And that is okay too. We can get rejected and also move on. 

Moushumi Ghose is a sex therapist based in Los Angeles. She can be seen on the sex education web series : The Sex Talk.

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