Are You In A Dead-End Relationship…Read This!
You no longer eat dinner together. Outings with other couples are now more stressful than ever trying to keep up with the facade of being a happy couple. Your significant other doesn't call anymore to see how you're doing during the day nor wonder where you are at night. Your family knows something's wrong during the holidays whenever you show up at family events and functions alone. You're really tired of lying to people and more importantly, to yourself. You know you need to end it but just don't have the strength to do it.
Most of us have been in at least one dead-end relationship in our lives. If we can be honest with ourselves, we stayed in it for the sake of the kids, for the convenience of someone there to help us pay the bills or to keep up with the pressure of society to say that we belong to someone. The relationship may have started off great but somewhere along the way we went in different directions. Our intentions were good for the relationship but life has taken us along different paths.
If this sounds like you, please consider the following reasons why it may finally be time to let go of that relationship.
Below are my top 5 reasons to let go.
1. Your heart isn't in it anymore - Your feelings have changed towards him or her. You still care very deeply for the person but are not in love with the person anymore. You know that whatever has happened was for the best and it made you a stronger person. You've tried over and over to make it work with no luck. Maybe you've even met someone else who you feel is more compatible to you and are struggling to tell your partner that it is over. Either way, you know your heart isn't in it and you'll need to let go.
2. Lack of trust - There's no level of trust between you and your partner. You check their phone every time it rings to see who has called or texted them. You've smelled their clothes, checked for lipstick stains and probably even their bank accounts to see if they've been unfaithful to you. But is this really how you want to live? If you have no trust for the person and feel the need to spy on them every second, this will drive you crazy...which leads me to the next point!
3. Your health is starting to deteriorate - This is by far the most revealing when you are in a dead-end relationship. You begin to lose your good health. Health symptoms you've never had before suddenly come up. You may become more neurotic or start to have high anxiety over little things. You just don't feel safe in that relationship anymore. I've even seen some people go through extremes including losing excessive weight or gaining excessive weight to hide the emotional baggage of the relationship. But is your health really worth it? Is a relationship worth ruining your health when you have so much in which to live? This is an especially critical question when you have kids who deserve for you to live.
4. It's a waste of time - Over the years in my experience as a dating coach, I've seen my clients waste countless amounts of time over someone who either weren't very interested in them or who could hardly care less about them. Most of them had this idealized view that if somehow they could make it work with the person, everything would be okay. It never worked out that way. Instead, the person they wanted had already moved on with their lives, while they were left with wasted years of time spending it wanting them...which leads me to my final point!
5. Someone better is out there for you - The time that you spend not letting go of someone not right for you could be better spent on someone who IS right for you. There could be other people out there who would be much better suited for you but they can't come into your life while you're still stuck in a dead-end relationship. While you're being weighed down by the baggage in this relationship, someone else better for you is passing you by. Please don't miss out on your opportunity. Several years from now could be too late.
Learning how to let go of someone who means a lot to you is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do in life. There's no shortcuts or ways around it. It takes a lot out of you mentally, physically and emotionally. But sometimes we have to do what's best for us in our lives. We go through life to learn and grow from our experiences. I like to think that each relationship and experience I've been in is a stepping stone for another. And maybe this relationship was necessary to get you prepared for a better one. It's certainly not that easy to let go but certainly necessary to move us further along in our journey.
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