Balancing Friendship With Courtship

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Balancing Friendship With Courtship
From Friends To Lovers….Where Do We Go From Here?

I would have to argue the reason why most relationships fail is because they are not based on a solid friendship.  You can tell this immediately by the break up whether it is amicable or a hostile one.  Let’s think about it.  Your best friends are people that know you very well and only have your best interests at heart.  They support you in your endeavors and are not afraid to challenge you when they know you are wrong.  That’s a true friendship.  If the relationship starts with a good friendship and the partners have to break up, then they will end it as friends too.

On the other hand, some people become so obsessed with the friendship until there becomes no boundaries or no transition in place to actually being in a real relationship leading to marriage.  I’ve heard people argue they don’t like titles as in girlfriend or boyfriend but when there is no definition to the relationship other than “friends” after having dated for some time, where do you draw the line?  We can say that we’re okay with our “friend” seeing other people on the surface, but when that friend suddenly starts getting serious with someone else, we tend to have a problem.  And we wonder why we’re all so confused?

Let’s go back to when we were kids.  If you had strong parents, then you had to start off as friends.  You had no other choice.  Your parents were your first line of defense and if you grew up in a tightknit community the way I did, your neighbors and teachers were your second line of defense.  You had to meet his or her family or else you weren’t going out on a date.  Now although, your hormones were high as a young teenager, you made the best of the situation knowing that going past a friendship or “going steady” as we called it, was simply out of the question. 

Back in those days, there was a natural line of progression from friendship to commitment.  You could not shortcut the process and as a result, those were probably some of the best relationships that you could have had because there were boundaries and structure in place to ensure a great transition for courtship and eventually marriage.  We’re missing that natural line of progression.  There really is none.  People nowadays meet with the expectation of sex and marriage right away and then wonder why they can’t find a spouse?

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Monique Boyd

Dating Coach

Monique Boyd

LiveLoveAspire.com

LiveLoveAspire.blogspot.com

Email:  info@liveloveaspire.com

 

Location: Ellicott City, MD
Credentials: BS, CLC, CRC, MBA
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