3) Never say this.
You have to be clear with yourself about what the right time is to step out of your comfort zone and go online in search for a suitable partner. You also have to be clear as to why. When you have made the commitment to yourself about what you desire, then you are ready to show others what you want on your profile.
Most men over 50 think they know what women want, and they bend themselves into a pretzel trying to give it to women. Keep it simple. Stay inside your own head. In reality, all women want is someone genuine. Don't hide behind a filter, offering an image of what you think women want. Give us the real you. Your chances of finding a good match will be higher if you know what you want and who you are.
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Have you ever said things like the phrases below? They make women cringe. If you think they're hysterical, or I'm making them up, think again — and make sure you never express these sentiments in your online profile:
- "I was married to my soul mate for 30 years and I'm looking for second best."
- "My friends made me join the online dating site."
- "I'm a very interesting person. Let me know what you want to know about me."
When describing yourself in your online profile, show your sense of humour, your humility, and have fun. Online dating is not for everyone. The best way to be successful is to own your own experience and be honest about it. Are you looking for a life partner, or just a casual encounter? There is nothing wrong with either, just as long as you are clear and go in with the right intentions.
Make the effort to say basic things about yourself and also share important details. Show you can relate to others. How are you going to find your match if you don't list details that are important to share, and will endear you to others?
If you aren't technologically minded, here is a good opportunity to challenge yourself. Update your computer skills and share the experience. This way, you will show that you are open-minded, up for new things, and fearless!
4) Be low maintenance.
My client Marta's last relationship ended because her boyfriend thought she would rather spend time with her dog than with him. He was right. Even though dogs are demanding — you have to walk them, feed them, take care of them — they are actually low maintenance. You give and you receive. The relationship is easy, claims Marta.
Women of a certain age in today's world love low-maintenance men. So, if you are a man over 50 looking for a partner, be sure to talk about how you take care of yourself; how you are the leader of your life. What are your favourite activities? Where do you like to spend time? Take the lead. Show initiative.
Forget the cliché that all over-50 women want candlelight dinners and a walk on the beach. Marta, for example, hates candles and she walks her dog on the beach. She is clear with possible dates that she would much prefer to walk into a trendy restaurant or funky art gallery. The place doesn't have to be expensive, though she would like it to be original; even cutting-edge. Otherwise, she would prefer an evening at home with that dog. Men, this is what you are up against. Over-50 women have the perfect life and the perfect companion in their dog. Yet for many, something is missing. How are you going to show them what they have been missing out on?
5) Free yourself from you.
Know when you are being your own worst enemy. If you avoid getting to know the real you, if you insist on twisting the real you into a pretzel, if you think you know what your potential date wants, then take a break from online dating.
Only when you are willing to show who you are, when you are ready to listen, and especially when you are curious about the other person, are you ready to take that leap of faith.
Above all, have fun (and repeat after me: no more cropping).
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Monica Magnetti—Professional Certified Life and Business Coach and proud Your Tango Expert. Monica has designed free products for you to get more out of life. Here is Number 6 in Monica’s Online Dating Profile Tips for Men Over 50: Download Monica’s free eBook, Spark Success in Your Business: 10 Elements of a Strong Business Foundation and Successful Internet Branding, and apply those 10 elements to your online dating profile. XOXO