This week I had the privilege of doing AfterBuzz TV’s “The Bachelor” after show with JC Rubio (@theeverydayman), Canden Bliss (@candenbliss) and Bobby Kaple (@bobbykaple) and before the show ended JC and I were talking about when a relationship ends all we want to know is “Why?!” – “Am I broken” – “Why NOT me?” – “Is there something wrong with me?”
I feel like we both (men/women) ruminate much longer when a relationship ends because we don’t have the closure we think we need to fully move forward. As if hearing our flaws and the reason laid out cleanly on a powerpoint presentation would make everything suddenly make sense. As if, we can only move on if we understand it….? Rationalizing and understanding a break-up is a luxury, not a given. Sheesh, stop acting so entitled. JK!
I had a good friend tell me when I was in undergrad going through a break up “you hold the keys to your prison”….years later, I’m still repeating it – totally stuck with me! I love that. You hold the keys to your closure. You have a right and an opinion to what happened.We always ask the above questions of ourselves, but what about the other person? Are they broken? WHY them? Is there something wrong with THEM?! ;)
All of our beliefs and thoughts are in our minds because they were placed there by US and what we have chosen to subscribe to. You can make your mind believe ANYthing. It’s why pathological liars believe themselves. It’s why really successful people have solid confidences…these are all beliefs they have placed in their head.
If you’re going through a break-up without closure, go ahead and give it to yourself. You deserve it. Let yourself out of prison! :D
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