“After a break-up, certain street, locations, even times of day are off-limits. The city becomes a deserted battlefield, loaded with emotional landmines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces.”~Carrie
Isn’t this the truth! Breaking up is tough enough without having to worry about the next time you might run into your ex, hear a song, or remember a sweet memory of them.
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Below are five gem pieces of advice to help you get through those sweet songs and memories in one piece:
1.) First things first. The communications has to stop. Don’t worry – not forever. Just until you both can give the wounds some time to heal. Even if you two decide to get back together later, it’s still best to act as though things are done for good. Dr. Helen Fisher states that the constant communication just makes us relive the break-up over and over and over and over. We don’t want that do we?
2.) “He who is indifferent wins” – this is advice passed down from a dear friend and so very true. I’m not encouraging you to turn your break-up into a game but if you’re the one being left, and you’re upset. Sit tight. They say the best revenge is not falling apart.
3.) So many times in a break-up we sit and think about what’s wrong with us, what we could have done better and I think that’s healthy for self improvement but shoot! What about the other person! I always like to ask the same question back – “Is there something wrong with them?!” “What could they have done differently?!” I think taking a nice chunk of responsibility pie is great like I said but go ahead and share the pie! It takes two to tango and two to mess up a relationship.
4.) Be wary of Emotional Starvation. This happens to the best of us and is normal after a break-up. Suddenly you remember every decent thing about them! You remember ALL the good without a healthy sense of what was wrong. The only way to get back to getting emotionally healthy is to be aware of this and add in reality as much as you can, when you can.
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5.) Lastly, the most difficult thing you are probably battling is all the intrusive thoughts going in and out of your head like you’re a 24hr 7-11! Don’t you just wish you had a stop button on all thinking?! Well unless you meditate (which isn’t a bad idea!)…you are probably struggling with this. One of the best things I have seen that work for this may be a little surprising to you. Find a way to serve others. Yes. Whether it be baking cookies, volunteering, or helping someone move. Try to invest yourself in others. This really helps your mind stay busy, plus helping other people out will make you feel good about yourself and happy to make someone else happy.
Catch me on Twitter @jennatimetweets and visit me at www.jennatime.com!