The Key to Great Love: Are You Doing This?
By Mika Maddela. Posted on .
Does it seem next to impossible to see eye to eye with your partner these days? No matter how hard you try to reconnect with them, you just can't seem to get the love you want.
Have you ever set up arrangements for a family member or a close friend to watch your kids while you plan a romantic weekend with your husband? Have you ever gotten him season tickets to his favorite sports team or went out of his way to make his day? Or perhaps you've spent a lot of money on clothes and makeup to help you feel and look sexy? If you've done a few of the things mentioned above to mend your relationship, did it work in rekindling that "zest" and connection you and your partner used to have together?
More from YourTango: 4 Ways To Blow Past Your Arguments
If you're like most women, then probably not.
Why?
Essentially, you didn't change anything fundamental about your relationship. Instead of resorting to quick fix solutions, get to the root of why your relationship is struggling in the first place.
A romantic getaway or great night of sex are short-term solutions to a much bigger problem--lack of emotional availability.
The Key to Great Love
All of our actions, behaviors, and thoughts are created by our emotions.
If you feel insecure, you'll act jealous or needy.
If you feel slighted by something your partner said or done, you'll get defensive and an
argument may even break out.
If you feel happy, your mood and interactions around people will be more positive and you'll be more fun to be around.
Our emotions play a valuable role on the quality of our lives.
How we cope with our emotions is essential to having successful and thriving relationships.
Many of us have different ways of coping with our negative emotions like anger, sadness, frustration, jealousy and resentment.
As an act of self-preservation,many people numb themselves from their emotions to block out pain. People also rely on external stimulants like food, sex, alcohol, or television to make themselves feel good as they suppress or repress their emotions.
We've all had our own shares of battles to fight and we all do what we can to move forward.
Unfortunately, if we're emotionally out of touch with what's happening inside of us, we are emotionally unavailable to our partners... This is when problems surface.
Men have the reputation to be less expressive of their emotions and for being emotionally unavailable. Are you in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man?
This is something many women deal with. They've fought tooth and nail just to bring back the sparks in their relationship. They've even resorted to buying sexy lingerie to spice things up in the bedroom. Many of these women fall flat on their face and end up in even more pain because when it comes down to it, they're just slapping a band-aid on their relationship problems and hope it stays put.
Is it Only Men Who Are Emotionally Unavailable?
More from YourTango: 11 Ways To Love Your Body
Regardless of how much women say they're more expressive than their partners, women are just as prone to emotional unavailability as men.
More Juicy Content From YourTango:
• Our 50 Best Marriage Tips
• Advice and Tips for Healthy Relationships
• YourTango’s Best Relationship Advice
