Holiday Blues? 3 Ways To Deal With Your Troubles In Love

If you're upset because your boyfriend or spouse doesn't kiss you with passion anymore, focus on the fact that you don't need him to make you feel loved or validated because you know that you're more than enough.

Changing  what you focus on can change your attitude. Once your change your attitude, you double your chances of changing the dynamic in your relationship.

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3. Why do some people naturally experience the true spirit of Christmas? (It's not what you think)

The holidays can be a time to create new memories filled with fresh and unique flavors of joy rather than love of the fumes of Christmas past. Is it really the Christmas treats, the Christmas music, the glitter and sparkle of holiday decorations and the affections from your partner that defines your holiday cheer? No, it is not!

All the things I mentioned above are all external factors that do not define who you are as a person. The holiday spirit isn't made up of holiday props or decoration. It's not about the presents or cookies and it's not about "being happy." It's about the love that YOU project from deep inside your core. It's the gift of what YOU bring to the world!

As a small child, your reflection about yourself wasn't tarnished by the sufferings you may have experienced today. Back then, we weren't emotionally reliant on external circumstances to feel loved or validated as many of us do today. As a child, we were 100% in the present moment. When you are dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, you lose the opportunity of changing your relationship and life.

When you dwell in the past of "the good old days," like when you and your husband used to be so madly in love, you're consciously focusing on what you can't undo. For example, can you imagine if you dwelled on the fact that someone cut you off in traffic three years ago? You would be festering in your own perpetual loop of self-inflicted torture.

When you worry about the future, you create anxiety over circumstances that have not yet happened. By focussing more on not messing up, what do you think are the chances of you getting what you want to happen? Slim to none.

So, instead of being stuck in the past or in the future, focusing on the present moment will help you take control of what you can control — this moment in time.

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In short, what you can do now to reclaim your holiday spirit this year is to let go of high expectations and allow yourself to be emotionally okay with whatever happens. Focus on what you want and only internalize the thoughts that are aligned with those desires. Most of all, being present in the moment is the best "present" you can give yourself and to the people around you.