Is your relationship with yourself ruining your chances of finding the love you want?
Have you ever been skeptical of a compliment?
Have you ever compared yourself to other woman and felt inadequate?
Do you often think you're not "good enough"?
If this sounds like you, it's time for you to stop betting against yourself and come face to face with your biggest enemy...Yourself!
Goodbye to those days when you berated yourself for having curves.
Goodbye to those days when you ate your emotions with pizza and cake.
Goodbye to the judgement and self-loathing whenever you looked in the mirror.
Goodbye to 2012.
Well, hello, 2013. Make this the year you will finally fall in love with yourself!
Your relationship with yourself makes up the quality of your life. If you don't respect or love yourself, your love life will surely suffer.
Here are three ways to start loving yourself in 2013.
1. Forgive And Move On
You made a huge mistake, you cheated on your diet and ate a whole pizza by yourself, you failed at meeting a deadline, you burnt the roast in oven... Whatever you did practice the art of forgiveness and move on. The more you hold onto regret, the more suffering you add to your own life.
How can you move on and make tangible changes in your life if you can't let go of the past?
Like everybody else, you will falter, you will fall and make mistakes. Instead of holding on to what you can't undo, forgive yourself and aspire to move your situation in a positive direction. Letting go of the past is the first step to loving yourself.
2. Appreciate Your Qualities
Your biggest critic isn't your parents or your boss. Your biggest critic is yourself.
Instead of making judgements about yourself, find qualities about yourself that you appreciate most. If you can't think of one thing, then you're not trying hard enough.
Perhaps it's your sense of humor, positive outlook, great smile, eyes that twinkle when you laugh, your tendency to always want to help others or your genuine curiosity and zest for life. When you overlook your positive qualities, you will focus on your own flaws.
Your actions and choices are fueled by your lack of self-esteem and confidence when you focus on the negative aspects of yourself. When you become your own biggest enemy, no matter how many people you have in your life, you will always feel that the cards are always stacked against you as you always question whether or not you're loved.
3. Share Humanity
Remember that everyone is fighting their own battles. A huge part of self-love is sharing humanity and letting go of all judgements with ourselves and other people. The most judgemental people are usually the ones who are most judgemental about themselves.
The next time you hang out with your annoying cousin or meet a stranger for the first time, let go of all judgements and remember to share humanity with them. Awknowledging that they have their own fears, desires, wants, and pitfalls (just like you) will help you practice self-acceptance within yourself.
4. Make Time For Regular Solo Dates
Another important aspect of self-love is that you set time aside just for yourself. In these busy times, many of us are constantly checking off our never ending"to-do lists." There will always be something you have to do, people to see or places to go but self-care is an essential part of loving yourself.
When was the last time you've treated yourself to a warm bubble bath, lit candles as you read a book by the window, wrote in your journal or went out to restaurant by yourself?
If you don't remember the last time you did anything special for yourself then chances are high that you don't get much alone time to rejeuvnate and decompress from the craziness of life! Schedule a date night for yourself and plan an evening of self-indulgences that lifts you up from the inside as you restore your spirit and sense of self. Setting time for solitude allows room for you to reflect on your life and replenish yourself.
5. The Fallacy Behind Constant Comparisons
"I would kill to be in her shoes anyday"
Maybe not to that extreme, but we've all compared ourselves to someone else whom we've labled as "having it all." When you compare your failures or successes to other people, you will always find reasons on why you're not "good enough."
Every person is a unique individual with their own unique battles to fight.
The only person who has any control over your life is yourself and the more you constantly compare yourself to other people, the more you allow others to define who you are.
When you compare yourself to other people and their journey, you will costantly focus on how far you have to go and go on this perpetual loop of self-judgement. Instead of focusing on how far you still have to go, focus on how far you have gone and the accomplisments you've achieved.
This will help fuel the motivation you want to move in a forward direction.
Getting the love you want in 2013 does not begin with getting a "new look." It does not begin with how much weight you lose or how much money you make.
Getting the love you want begins with how you feel about yourself. If don't have a healthy relationship with yourself and you struggle with self-respect and self-love, you will have a very difficult time letting love in.
No matter how many times someone shows you how much you mean to them, you will never truly feel the extent of their love until you love yourself first.
Make 2013 the year you finally fall in love with yourself if you want this to be a year filled with joy, love, and passion.