7 Online Dating Sins: Are You Guilty?
By Mika Maddela. Posted on .
I got a question the other day from a reader about why all the men she meets on dating sites are emotionally unavailable or otherwise damaged goods.
A lot of women experience frustration with online dating because a lot of the men they encounter seem to be creepy, losers, sociopaths, or not relationship material.
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Why is this?
Is there some kind of secret website that all the good men go to?
Actually, no.
This is just like the old argument that you shouldn’t meet guys at bars or clubs because only “those” types of men go to bars and clubs.
Not true. Pretty much all types of guys go to bars (except guys who don’t drink). An ambitious lawyer is just as likely to be found in a bar blowing off some steam at happy hour with his coworkers as that degenerate loser who still lives in his mother’s basement.
Okay, so it it’s not the “where” then what is it?
In most cases, the reason why you seem to be attracting a certain type of guy online is because of tiny little mistakes in your online profile that are actually scaring away the good guys.
Here are some of the most common ones:
1. Extensive Lists of What You Want or Don’t Want
Now, I understand that women tend to get a lot of attention on dating sites. You probably think you’re weeding out the guys you don’t want to deal with.
However, when you make a long list about how the guy you want to meet needs to be friendly, confident, not into playing games, have a good job, love kids, etc., what you may not realize is that you’re actually chasing off the kind of guys you’re trying to meet.
This is happening because this comes off as being overly picky and judgmental (and this mentality will eventually make men pull away when you're in a relationship.)
Let’s be honest, the kind of guy you probably want to meet, isn’t going to be interested in a picky and judgmental woman, is he?
2. Porn Star Usernames
Sometimes a woman can accidentally send the wrong message by picking a username like “Looking4Fun” or “NaughtyOrNice.”
You might think that you’re being cute of flirty, but really you’re sending a message to all the sex-focused guys out there that they need to approach you with their lewd comments and messages ASAP.
Instead, you should be classy about your username. Being flirty is great in person, but be careful how you do it online where people can often misinterpret the written word, and first impressions count.
3. Boring Teflon Girl
Have you ever looked at other women’s profiles? If you have, you may have noticed that the vast majority of them all look the same.
“I’m down for whatever.”
“I love going out with my friends.”
“My favorite book is 50 Shades of Grey or Eat Pray Love”
“I like cozy nights watching movies on the couch.”
“I want to meet a guy who is funny and confident.”
I cannot tell you how many profiles consist of a mix-and-match of about twenty common themes.
This makes you look bland and just the same as every other woman out there.
Plus, if a guy does want to contact you, you’re not really giving him anything unique to say to you to get your attention, so he might just give up and find someone who is willing to be original.
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