How to maintain a working relationship with your ex and why it's important

• When people outside of your immediate circle ask about your ex or your divorce, say something minimal like “We tried to make it work, but we couldn’t. We grew too far apart and sadly we came to this decision.” It’s exhausting to go over and over it and serves little purpose. Change the subject by asking about that person’s job, kids or activities. Distraction works surprisingly well. People, other than close family and a friend or two, don’t need details.
• Don’t turn the children against their other parent. They need both of you and you may need your co-parent’s cooperation at times.
• Children have an entirely different experience of divorce than their parents. Don’t assume you know what the divorce has been like for your children. Ask them about their experience and if there’s anything you can do to make things easier.
• It takes time to recover from a divorce—but you will get over it if you are willing to eventually let go of the feeling of injustice and the focus on your ex. Create your own satisfying life instead.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Micki McWade

Divorce Coach

Micki McWade, LMSW

914 557-2900

Offices in Manhattan, Mt. Kisco and Fishkill NY

The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions. —Thich Nhat Hanh


Location: Mt, Kisco, NY
Credentials: CSW, LMSW, MSW
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