Dating A Divorced Guy: Proceed With Caution


Dating A Divorced Guy: Proceed With Caution [EXPERT]
How to manage expectations and your own life while in a challenging relationship

A newly divorced man will want the comfort of a relationship but may want independence at the same time. He needs time to feel his way through to a new way of life. His past relationship(s) may have cost him in many ways. He may be unable or unwilling to tolerate your needing attention at times. If he's been married a long time, he may want the opportunity to look around and date a few more people.

The biggest challenge of dating a divorced man with children is that you will not be his priority. His children and his job will likely take precedence and if his children aren't a priority, take a look at his character. This is a red flag. He will have bigger bills to pay so he will have less discretionary spending money than he had in the past. He will also need alone time with his children to show them they are a priority and help stabilize them. 

Please encourage this without complaint. He should be in relationship with you for awhile, at least a few months, before introducing you to them. Don't be upset by this. He should not introduce you to his kids until he knows the relationship with you will last for awhile.

Children of divorce have been through enough without becoming attached to a person who will soon disappear. Children need time to adjust to their parents living separately before seeing them with someone new. If the introduction is rushed, it may undermine their relationship with you indefinitely.

Women have a tendency to give up a lot to support the man they love and expect the same in return. Understand he may not be willing or able to reciprocate at a particular point. Men in general operate differently. A romantic relationship is important but not as important for men as it is for women.

So, if you've fallen for a divorced man, make sure you prioritize your own life: your own children, career, goals, interests, friends and activities. Be supportive but not dependent. Independence is attractive to emotionally healthy men so you will not only be healthier yourself, you will attract an emotionally healthier mate. Don't chase him. Let him come to you. Final words: proceed with caution.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Micki McWade

Divorce Coach

Micki McWade, LMSW

914 557-2900

Offices in Manhattan, Mt. Kisco and Fishkill NY

The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions. —Thich Nhat Hanh


Location: Mt, Kisco, NY
Credentials: CSW, LMSW, MSW
Other Articles/News by Micki McWade:

Why You'll Always Be Connected To Your Ex


After the divorce papers have settled and the air's been cleared, it feels like your family finally has a chance of moving on and starting fresh. Even though you loved your ex husband, things just weren't working out. And that's okay. But a lot of people seem to think that once you get a divorce, you're completely free of your ex spouse for good ... Read more

He Promised To Quit Drinking, But I Want To Leave Anyway


Being with someone who is an alcoholic is really tough. No matter how long you've been together, having to go through the highs and lows of his mood swings can be emotionally draining and exhausting. Staying seems co-dependent and leaving (especially when he needs you the most) just seems cruel. But what people don't realize is just how rough addiction ... Read more

Dad Is Moving Out? How To Break The News


When it comes to getting a divorce, having to deal with living apart is just the beginning. Unless someone has been through something like this personally, it's hard to describe the sheer amount of pain and jealousy that comes up when you realize that your husband is gone. And finding out that he has already moved on is even worse. As if being a single ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular