There is a point of choice. Yes, it's easy to feel frustrated, cold, crabby, temporarily doomed and miserable. These feelings are normal in the wake of a disaster of this proportion. Tension, anxiety, overwhelm, helplessness and depressed feelings are all part of it. You can choose to fight these feelings or sink in them. Sinking is normal but don't stay there too long.
If you have power and can read this blog, here are a few suggestions that may help you transform negative feelings into a more productive positive attitude, which will help you, your relationship and everyone around you. I don't mean to minimize the difficulty in any way, but I’m sure that when we set an intention to act in a certain way, it happens.
1. Communicate. What may be obvious to you may not be obvious to someone else. We all have our ways of dealing with a crisis and often a couple will have different coping strategies. It may not mean either is wrong.
2. Try not to impatiently dismiss another's point of view. There is usually logic behind an action so try to understand the rationale before dismissing it. Who knows? The other person may have a better idea or thought of something you haven't. Dismissal hurts.
3. Be supportive. Say thank you and please. Say something nice to your partner at least once daily. What goes around comes around, as we all know. Start the "nice" ball rolling. You’ll be glad you did as it comes back to you.
4. Take a hug break. Connect. Get as many hugs as you can, but at least two per day. We all need them. Kids too. Physical contact is comforting and reassuring and good for reducing blood pressure and feelings of isolation.
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