10 Tips for a Sane Divorce

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10 Tips for a Sane Divorce
The difference in perspectives of the initiator and the non-initiator

8. Focus on yourself and avoid (as much as you can) getting wrapped up in wondering about how your mate is doing, what she’s saying, who he’s with, etc. This will lead to feelings of victimization and depression. Focus instead on what you can do for yourself and your children. Read a book, listen to music, exercise, read stories to your kids, volunteer for an organization, Don’t isolate yourself. Join groups that interest you. Gain independent experience, try new things.
9. Remember that your children need you. They still need a functional parent even if you are very upset. Tell them your upset is temporary and you will feel better soon. That will give them hope that the future will be better. Take care of yourself and find support. Call your local churches to find a divorce support group. Read supportive literature.
10. Try not to speak badly of the parent who left. A common misconception is that the one who left the home left both the spouse and the children. That’s not usually an accurate interpretation and hurts the children. He or she has left the marriage, not the kids and in fact, not their spouse entirely. The relationship has changed but a co-parenting relationship will go on forever.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Micki McWade

Divorce Coach

Micki McWade, LMSW

914 557-2900

Offices in Manhattan, Mt. Kisco and Fishkill NY

mickimcwade.com

The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions. —Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Location: Mt, Kisco, NY
Credentials: CSW, LMSW, MSW
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