Whether we like it or not, the closer we get to Valentine’s Day the more the commercial effect of this “holiday” is felt. Though I think nobody should ever feel pressured to precipitate getting romantically involved for that reason, I do believe that the time leading to Valentine’s Day and spring can be seen as the dating pre-game warm-up.
This time is the opportune time to lay the foundation for dating and relationship success for the rest of the year. The good news is that only a few things need to be done to reach optimum dating and relationship results. Let’s explore some of them.
In order to know where you’re headed, you need to know where you’ve been. Take an honest look at the previous year and think of any recurring dating and relationship patterns and any roadblocks that prevented your relationships from getting off the ground or from sticking. Then ask yourself what it is that you’ve learned from them. Once you’ve done this, a choice must be made whether you would love to meet someone with who you could build a great life with and follow through with action.
One must give up the idea that meeting the right person will just happen. And even worse, think that once you meet them, having a successful and sustainable relationship will just, again, happen. Of course, we eventually can find someone and get married. But let’s face it, this can most of the time lead to “ok” relationships that end up in divorce. With divorce rates at 50% for first marriages, then 70% for 2nd marriages, according to studies, why not take our relationships as seriously as we do our careers?
Ironically, even when it comes to careers, few people have a real career, in our case relationship, plan. Still, people want the same thing out of them which is meaning. Consequently, if meaning is what matters, the proper focus and attention should be paid to finding the right partner and this in turn will be key to developing a meaningful relationship. With this being said, this leads us to the love hunting season kick-off: Valentine’s Day.
Here are a few tips to consider once you’ve made the choice to avoid repeating your unfruitful dating patterns:
1. Have a clear idea of the type of partner that better suits your needs as opposed to your wants.
2. Keep in mind how you’d like the romance to develop without compromising your values and standards. Also, don’t be afraid to take emotional risks.
3. If you find that you can’t do it on your own, hire a professional dating and relationship coach the same as you would a personal fitness trainer. They’ll both help you get results faster than you would on your own, keep you motivated and make you accountable for your progress.
4. Be positive and open. Take every opportunity you have to make a new friend without putting too many expectations on the relationship early on.
5. Let go of the outcome, have fun and enjoy the process.
This is a great time to be love hunting since in the New Year most singles have renewed aspirations to have better romantic relationships than the year before. So in order to be ready for the love hunting season kick-off, consider the tips I have given you to build a strong foundation for dating and relationship success for 2011.