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10 Rules For Women Who Are Unlucky In Love

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dejected woman
Are you unlucky in love?
Dating got you down? Your approach may need a makeover.

This is a common mistake women make. Especially when we feel insecure, we tell people way too much about us. Because we share so much about our thoughts and emotions with each other, we tend to do this too much with men in the beginning. I am all for being open and honest in a relationship, but give the relationship a chance to progress before you open up too much. 

This especially applies to telling a man how you feel about him. If you have been dating for two weeks and think he might be the one, for the love, don't tell him. Although, if after two weeks you do start fantasizing about marriage and children, we need to talk. Slow yourself down and find a distraction. There is no way you know enough about him that quickly to make a lifelong commitment. If that is where your mind is, you are missing some key data.

More from YourTango: Confidence- The Sexiest Thing You Can Put On

4. Only put in a 30% effort. This sounds harsh, but it is true. The feminists are going to hate me on this one, but I think "I am woman, hear me roar" has done us a disservice in the dating department. Think about it in mathematical terms, if you put in 100% effort, how much is left for him to give?

Honestly, when it comes to dating, less is more. The less effort you put in, the more he has to come forward. This becomes diagnostic of how invested he is in you. If he doesn't come forward, run, do not walk. If he is putting so little effort into your dating relationship, what will happen once he gets comfortable?

5. Make him come to you. This is especially true for the first few dates. If you go to his house on the first date instead of him coming to pick you up, I have two words for you: booty call. If he isn't willing to invest the energy to at least come pick you up and have something planned for the evening, just say no. If he asks you to come to him and has no game plan, he is just looking to hook up. A man who genuinely wants to spend time getting to know you will put in the effort. If you are struggling with this concept, go back to rule four.

Now, I have some single friends who live at home and don't want a date to pick them up and "meet the parents". I can understand this, but going back to rule one, own it. Your life circumstances are nothing to be ashamed of. If you have had to move back in with mom and dad for financial reasons or after a break-up, so be it, but don't let that drain your confidence. If it bothers you because your parents are embarrassing, meet somewhere, but never pick him up.

More from YourTango: The 7 Best Reasons To Break Up

6. Never see him with less than a seven days notice. Ok, this doesn't have to be hard and fast, but the point is that you should not accept a date on Wednesday or Thursday for that weekend. You are a busy woman. He needs to plan ahead if he wants your time. Keep reading ...

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Michelle Lewis

Counselor/Therapist

Michelle Lewis, LCSW
(801) 901-1391
www.slweightcounseling.com
www.twitter.com/lewiscounseling

Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Credentials: LCSW, MSW
Other Articles/News by Michelle Lewis:

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