ProConnect

Hope keeping you stuck? How hope can keep you in a bad relationship

By

Is hope keeping you stuck in a bad relationship? Do you keep rushing into a new relationship, perhaps with someone you barely know, crossing your fingers and simply hoping that maybe this time this will be the right man for you?

Hope is a wonderful thing. It keeps us going when times are tough. It gets us through difficult situations. But what happens with you hope in vain, but you don't realize it's a vain hope? When is hope keeping you a prisoner?

More from YourTango: Survey: When Would You Seek Help for Your Relationship

If you spend more time crying than enjoying your relationship, you may be holding onto hope that this is just temporary and it will get better. It is possible that your relationship will get better; it is also possible that it will get worse.

If you are unsure, begin keeping a journal of good days versus bad days. You can keep it simple by drawing a smiley face or a sad face each day on your calendar to indicate the general state of your relationship. You can also journal details of what is going on. Do what works best for you.

Evaluate your good and bad days after a few weeks to get a better picture of how often you face difficulties. This is a bit simplistic, but it can help you to get a more realistic perspective on your relationship.

If you are closing your eyes to more and more behaviors that go against your values, morals, or are even criminal, hope is keeping you stuck. If you are compromising your values, ethics, and morals, you are treading murky waters. If you are allowing yourself to get involved in criminal behaviors, you risk giving up your freedom permanently.

If you are being abused in any way, hope may be keeping you stuck. You may believe him when he cries and promises that he never meant to hurt you. You may hope that this will be the last time. You may hope he will change. This is a particularly dangerous situation. If you are currently in an abusive situation and you want help, call the National Domestic violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

More from YourTango: Fear and Hatred Replay in Adult Relationships

Most of the women I work with are not in such extreme situations as described above, yet it is important to offer this information for those who may need it. If you are a woman who knows you are allowing hope to rush you into a relationship or keep you stuck in one that is not right for you, you can benefit from learning some new skills. You do not have to remain stuck. When you hope, let it be for the right reasons: hoping for more joy, love, and the continuation of a wonderfully happy relationship!

Join my upcoming webinar workshop on Conscious Dating: Relationship Success Training for Singles. They are held regularly, with the next one starting on October 13, 2010. For more information, click here: http://trueloverelationshipcoach.com/cdworkshop.html. If you haven't gotten my free report for singles yet, you can get it now at http://trueloverelationshipcoaching.com.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Girl Decorates Easter Eggs

Are You Addicted To Comfort?

Don't be afraid to push the envelope—you'll achieve greater happiness.

Woman Weighing Herself

How to Lose Weight Without Dieting

10 Steps to integrating mindful eating- find peace, calmness and sanity around food and in your body

Cuffs

The Ties that Bind

The NEW D/s dynamic and its power to conquer your fears.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS