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Dating struggles: your problem or theirs?

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Dating struggles: your problem or theirs?

When you are single and frustrated with dating, do you have a tendency to blame others for your inability to make a satisfactory connection with someone you are interested in? Or do you take personal responsibility for what happens in your dating game? Think about this carefully because what you think and how you act affect the outcome of everything you do, including dating.

What does it mean when you make it all about someone else? Blaming your dates (or lack of dates) says you are a victim. No one likes you, probably because they are shallow, prejudiced, immature, or have poor taste, right? Your friends may even back you up and echo these sentiments, attempting to make you feel better about yourself.

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While it is very likely that there are people out there who have these negative attitudes, what if it really is all about you? If it is true that it is "your fault" then this is the best news I can give you. If it is your fault, or to put a positive spin on it, if it is your responsibility, then you can do something about, right? Hurray for you!

Once you decide to give up the victim role, you can begin to create a plan of action:

Begin by putting your personality under the microscope. What are you doing that rubs potential dates the wrong way? If you blow off this first step, believing that nothing is wrong with your style of interacting with others, you have missed a great opportunity to learn something and make some necessary improvements.

Ask people you trust to be honest with you to help you with this. It will be an uncomfortable but valuable learning experience. If you are open to self-improvement, you can reap the benefits of talking with others about what you can do to create a better you.

Read all you can, take classes in communication skills, learn about the opposite sex and how to interact successfully. Knowledge is power. Get to know as much as you can about dating and relating.

More from YourTango: Fear and Hatred Replay in Adult Relationships

If you choose to turn a blind eye to your "less than perfect" qualities, go ahead and label yourself a narcissist and be content with remaining single. Believe me, you are better off and anyone who might possibly get involved with you is also better off with anyone else. But since you are reading this, I am convinced that you are willing to do what it takes to continue to improve yourself so that you can be the best person you can be for dating, relating, and for life in general! You can do it. I believe in you!

I want you to have my free, extended report, "Why am I Still Single and What Can I Do About it? Ten Attitudes that are Keeping You From Finding Your Dream Man." Women, get your report here: http://trueloverelationshipcoach.com/women10attitudes.html. Men, your report is here: http://trueloverelationshipcoaching.com.

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