If you have lost someone dear to you, you may still be in the middle of profound grief while your friends, family, and others may be ready for you to "move on." How do you deal with this huge gap that develops between you, the one on the grief journey, and others who are looking at you from the outside? Fortunately for you, there are things you can do to allow yourself to continue to heal. You need not clam up and pretend to be happy. Here are three ideas to help you through your grief journey when others are tired of listening.
Find a grief support group. When I lost my husband in 2007, the options for support for a 40 year old widow in my city were limited. Now, with the explosion of social media, especially Facebook, there are many ways to connect with others who have also lost loved ones. If you are not on Facebook, open an account today. Once you are there, look up groups related to your particular loss and join them. Just type in key words like "widowhood," "widow," "grief," "pet loss," "death," "grief and loss," and other such words.
There are both online and offline support groups. One I especially recommend for widows is Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation. This foundation is only a few years old and they are doing great things to help widows and widowers grieve and heal.
If you find you are isolating yourself and you are not making progress in addressing the pain of loss, you may need to consider counseling with a grief counselor. This is a great way to be able to talk about your story without being judged for not "moving on." In the process of talking with a grief counselor you can begin to address the areas you are stuck in. A lot of times these stuck areas are around guilt that you are holding onto. Consider professional help if you are feeling stuck and isolated.
Start your own support group. I love Meetup.com. You can find groups of people who have many different interests. Look up "Meetup" and type in what you are looking for. If there is no group in your area, consider starting a group yourself. I have done this with good results myself. When you find a group of people with the same or similar experiences that you have had, you are less likely to find they want you to stop talking about your experiences.
Remember, even though you have experienced profound loss, you can still talk about your loved one fondly and even recall humorous things related to his/her life. When you do this, you will find more people are willing to talk with you than when you are lamenting your loss.
If you are ready to find love again after loss, I invite you to check out my seven step program, From Loss to Love Again at http://www.fromlosstoloveagain.com. Email me and we'll set up a complimentary Get Acquainted session.