ProConnect

Conquering The Past To Improve The Present

By

Conquering The Past To Improve The Present
If you make the commitment to conquering the past, you will discover in the present.

For years -- over twenty-five to be exact -- I stumbled through life and the fog in my head. Something bad had happened to me when I was thirteen and it seemed that since then my head was always in varying degrees of cloudiness. I spent a lot of time looking back to the past and forward to the future while suppressing all of the memories and emotions that threatened to engulf me. The end result: I don't remember a lot from those years and didn't exactly build a life I was very happy living.

The problem with this past and future lifestyle is that it cut me off from the present moment. Constantly looking back at the past meant the present was filled with pain, loss and confusion. I disconnected from the true experience of the day because to feel all of that emotion would be overwhelming.

More from YourTango: Self-Care and Joy: How You Can Use What You Love to Love Yourself

Always looking ahead to the next bad thing meant I was always trying to see further down the road instead of the path in front of me. Friends, family, lovers, colleagues and even strangers I might have liked to meet found it impossible to connect with me in any meaningful way.

I was too distracted to create the life, career and relationships that would bring me pleasure and a sense of achievement. Then, one day I decided to change all that. I decided to conquer the past and create the future by overcoming what held me tied to a place of pain, grief and fear.

I sought professional help to understand where my thoughts had gotten stuck and why, plus how to change them. I developed a daily meditation practice to begin learning to stay present and be mindful. I committed myself to learning how to partner dance (something I had never done before) so that I practiced connecting both my mind and body to the moment at hand -- and having fun while doing it. The process was tough and demanding. It took a while, but with the help and support of more than one practitioner, family and some new friends, I threw off the shackles of the past.

No matter how stuck we feel, we all have the ability to move forward. If you make the commitment to conquering the past you will discover in the present:

Choices you never considered. Without focusing on what you don't want about fears and anxieties driven by the past, you can consider what you really do want in the present.

Relationships that fill you with love and happiness. Releasing the distraction of what happened long ago (or even just a couple of months ago) opens you to connections that are positive, supportive, nurturing, life-affirming and exciting in the here and now.

Experiences that make you feel exhilarated. Holding on to the past weighs you down with a ball and chain. The present moment wants to lift up and fly away like your favorite childhood red balloon.

More from YourTango: How Following My Joy Led Me To Finding My Love

Joy that connects you to the deepest sense of who you are. Negative connection to the past is often based in fear, which is a construct of the ego voice, which is an illusion. Vanquishing that fear opens you to a happiness that deepens your experience of your true essence.

Lifestyle changes that bring you into alignment with your purpose. Without your head swiveling backward and forward you can focus on making your life and actions create a meaningful expression of your presence today.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Summer Couple

Ditch Your Need for Certainty: Cultivate These Nine Traits

Sometimes we find ourselves on the precipice of a decision and become paralyzed. We hesitate ...

Smooches

The Least & Most Open-Minded Cities In Online Dating

Wondering if your city is open-minded when it comes to online dating? Check out this data from Zoosk

Faith

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS