That day finally comes when you truly get over your ex. Here's what you need to get there yourself
Sometimes a breakup does more than break your heart.
Sometimes a breakup becomes the one event that touches the part of your heart normally protected from the rest of the world.
And when that happens, look out: Magic is about to be unleashed in your life.
Here’s how it happens. Maybe you’ll be able to relate to this story.
We fell in love almost right away.
Within weeks we were saying cute things like “We’re going to be happy forever”.
And for a moment, we both believed it.
But we broke up before forever came.
Your mind is flooded with the reminder of broken promises, of a future still-born, before it was given the life it deserved.
For weeks it seems like there’s no end in sight.
You feel sure you’ll never love again.
And at times, you wonder if you’ll ever really live again.
But hang in there. You’re not done yet.
There’s a saying that we hear from time to time that goes like this:
“It’s always darkest before the dawn”
So it is with you.
There came a day when you wake up. When you look back on your love affair and feel…complete is the best word that comes to mind.
Free from malice or resentment, even free from the bitterness of the pain, you see things clearly.
You can see the beauty of the love you shared, and feel the pleasure of it. Even sometimes relive the pleasures of it.
In a flash, you also see clearly the reasons it didn’t work. In that flash, you see how you wanted this love so much that you sacrificed your very self on the altar of hope that it would.
You remember those moments, even when you were together, when you had the secret thoughts that it wasn’t going to work out. That you might not even want it to work out.
The way you felt like you weren’t quite good enough. Or that you had to keep performing.
For me, the pacing paranoia of wondering if she was faithful and true that nearly drove me to madness when it struck.
But we were going to be happy together forever and I didn’t want to let go of that dream.
What was it for you? The sting you felt only in your own heart. The sting that hurt so much, that scared you so much you couldn’t share it with anyone really. Not even the person you loved.
If we imagine your experience of life as represented by a perfect circle, when you come out of a breakup, that circle is deformed. It’s now got jagged edges that hurt. The day comes when those jagged edges are smoothed out. And now, with the reinforcement of experience, they are strengthened against being deformed again.
When the pacing paranoia is replaced with peaceful patience.
When your own hurt, that old ache, is healed by the very pain that caused it. It is a mystery, to be sure, but remember, we’re talking about magic here.
“That which hurts, is that which heals.”
It can be painful to let go of our incorrect ideas about love; the jealousy, the control, the certainty.
But when we do, the magic comes.
And it heals.
And that healing brings back to life the person who was sacrificed on the altar. Yourself. Even better than before.
Michael Griswold offers personalized coaching by application. Or, read Michael's book Making Up Made Easy: How To Make Up After A Breakup.