Photo: WeHeartIt
Are you one of those one in a million couples?
By Michael Griswold — Written on Jul 22, 2016
"Why would you want your ex back? Your ex is your ex for a reason."
That’s what I sometimes hear when I tell broken up couples that I help to get back together. And most times, they’re right.
Many people who want their ex back are desperate to get back together because they feel lonely, rejected or feel a damage to their self-image when they were dumped.
And the highest good for those people is to heal their hurt and find someone who will truly love them.
But then there’s that one in a million couple. That couple that feels like they have a cosmic connection, like the person they were with really was their one and only — their soul mate.
The Greek philosopher Plato said that we once were hermaphrodites but were split into halves because the Gods were too afraid of our power that way.
And from that day on, we’ve been searching for our other half.
But, sometimes, these couples get off-track because neither one of them really knows how to make a relationship work.
So they hurt each other by mistake, then they get defensive and before they know it, their other half is half way out the door.
It’s for those couples that I work to help them get back together. Why? Because true love is worth fighting for.
If that’s you and your ex, there are 6 Magic Words you can use that will help you understand what it takes to get them back.
Understand, getting your ex back is a difficult task. And the ironic thing is that the more in love you were, sometimes the harder it is to get back together — it’s more dangerous.
But after 9 years of helping couples get back together, it’s the people who use these 6 Magic Words that consistently get the best results.
The reason these are Magic Words is because they sneak in behind your ex’s defenses and you get them right in the feels.
There is one mistake people make when trying to get their ex back that you should avoid: changing their ex's mind.
They say things like:
- "I’m sorry. Things will be different this time"
- "But we’re made for each other"
- I’ll change."
But this never works for one simple reason: Your ex doesn’t believe you.
They know that you’d say anything in the world to end the pain you’re going through so those types of statements just come across as good old fashioned manipulation.
Related: 11 Signs He's Not In Love — You're Just Convenient
But if you want something that CAN work, remember these 6 Magic Words: "Change their mood, not their mind."
Rather than trying to convince them to get back together, which will never work, work on changing how they feel. All you need is a foothold, a place to get started.
Don’t try to change how they feel about you all at once. In fact, don’t try to change how they feel about you at all.
Let them be angry, hurt and resentful. That’s okay because you probably feel that way too.
And in a weird way, when you can both be honest about feeling the same way (even when that way is negative), it brings you closer.
But you can begin to give some fresh air into the suffocating prison of your relationship by focusing on something else that will give them (and you) relief from the constant pressure you’ve been going through.
Michael Griswold accepts coaching clients by application. If you are one of those 1 in a million couples who wants to get back with your ex, read Michael's book Making Up Made Easy: How To Make Up After A Breakup.
YourTango may earn an affiliate commission if you buy something through links featured in this article.