Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Snow White is Full of It: Rethinking the Fairytale

Heartbreak

If you want a happily ever after, you must work for one.

The story of the fairytale is one that is widely circulated: it’s up there with that story about Richard Gere and gerbils. But, when it comes to dating, some people simply don’t believe the fairytale exists, or at least they don’t believe it exists for them.

This unfortunatley can lead to one of two things happening: throwing in the dating towel completely and vowing to be single forever or viewing dating in a bitter light, sort of like it’s under the fluorescent yellow bulbs hanging in every single junior high gym.

Yet, neither of these are healthy and they certainly won’t improve the chances that your fairytale, as remote a possibility you may believe it to be, will actually come true.

So, what should you do? Well, I’m glad you asked.

As you try to find a wife, find a husband, or simply find someone to share an Awesome Blossom with, it’s important to keep in mind what the fairytale entails, and, as important, what it doesn’t.

Fairytales Aren’t Automatic
In the movies, finding the one seems so easy…particularly if you’re animated. But, real life is a lot different: there is no script leading your prince or princess charming directly to your arms.

Thus, you have to look. In other words, you have to get out there and date. So, take some chances: go to work functions, ask your friends to set you up, even give online dating or speed dating a try. Not only will you never know unless you try, but you’ll never grow either.

Fairytales Aren’t Smooth Sailing
Perhaps the biggest misconception about fairytales is their ability to be completely problem-free. Though Cinderella and Snow White may try to convince you that these stories are always smooth sailing, they’re not. That’s right, I said it: Cinderella and Snow White are total liars.

Instead of being all love all the time, fairytales have the same issues as other relationships: even people who truly believe they have married their soul mate will fight, argue, and have times of extreme frustration. The point isn’t to make a fairytale a “heartache-free” zone; rather, the point is to work on yourself, work on your relationship, and work to get to that happily ever after. Fairytales don’t write themselves; it’s up to you to be the author.

Fairytales Need Open Minded-ness
A few years ago, I heard about a book called The Year of Yes. Essentially, it is a memoir written by a women who – for an entire year – agreed to go out with anyone who asked her. This led her to date a homeless man, many people who didn’t speak English, a mime, and two women, among others. It also led her to find the man she would marry, a man whose age and baggage would have deemed him un-dateable during any other time.

The whole morale of the story is this: if you allow yourself to be open-minded, you might just be awarded more than you ever thought possible. Fairytales aren’t filled with typical cut-out characters; they are filled with people who surprise you. People you end up loving.

Fairytales Thrive on Positivity
Snow White may be full of it, but she’s also full of grit: mostly, she’s full of positive thinking. She never doubted that one day her prince would come...in fact, she wouldn't shut up about it. Even as she cleaned houses, was stalked by an evil queen, and got play from no one but an elderly dwarf pretending to be a doctor, she remained positive. And it eventually paid off.

Positive thinking begets positive results. I know it sounds corny, but many times it’s true. This is probably because people who are negative can’t help but focus on all the downsides of things. They may stress about being 35 and single. They may view their date’s inability to chew with his mouth closed as a deal-breaker. They may claim that internet dating is a total waste of time before even giving it a chance. But, by doing all this, they never give themselves a chance either. At least, not a chance at their fairytale.

If you’re positive, on the other hand, you’ll notice when positive things happen to you. And, when they don’t, you’ll be better equipped to withstand the setback.

To learn more about writing your own fairytale, click here.

Author
Expert

Explore YourTango