You have the power to decide whether or not a breakup breaks you.
There is something about a breakup that makes you want to angrily tear out your hair while a Cher CD blares loudly in the background. There’s just no way around it: breakups make us sad and they, quite frankly, piss us off. That’s what we show on the exterior anyway, sometimes a scowl and sometimes a frowny face.
On the interior, breakups can actually do much more damage. This is because of their ability to drastically influence our self-esteem, leaving us feeling like we just bombed our American Idol audition. Even so, the degree of damage is up to you. You really have two choices, you can either believe yourself worthy of being dumped, or you can get back up, dust yourself off, and remember the following:
1. You’re Awesome
You might not be perfect, since no one is, yet still, you’re awesome. Sure, you're human and you have faults, but, guess what, you also have strengths…and awesome, awesome, qualities. Never forget that, no matter how many times your heart is the fine china to romance's concrete floor. If your ex-partner didn’t see the good qualities you had to offer, don’t fret, someone will.
2. Breakups Happen to Everybody
You aren’t the first person in the history of the world to ever be dumped, and you certainly won’t be the last: Cupid is an equal opportunity ball buster – breakups happen to everyone. In fact, it’s possible that the only demographic who is not routinely dumped are the ones involved in arranged marriages. Who knows, those couples may only be staying together so they don’t have to give back the dowry: it's actually quite difficult to return a llama.
3. It’s Not the End of the World
Robert Frost once said, "In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on." Yes, this is true even after a breakup. You may feel shattered, you may feel blindsided, and you may feel as if your world has totally ended and that’s okay, it’s perfectly normal to be flooded with emotions. But, remember, it won’t always feel like this. One day, you’ll wake up and realize Robert Frost was right
4. You Can Do Something About it
Breakups make us feel hopeless and helpless, yet you are neither. In regards to the latter, in particular, there is nothing about a breakup that renders you unable to help yourself: you can do something. You can figure out where things went wrong, you can work on changing the negative aspects that you may be inhibiting, and you can work on reconciling. Work on improving yourself and you’ll realize that you are not only not helpless, but your relationship also needs help less.
5. There is Light at the End of the Tunnel
I'm not one of those "everything happens for a reason" kind of people; sometimes, really crappy things happen for no logical reason that I can fathom (the Spice Girls movie comes to mind). While there may not be reason behind bad things occurring, there is hope…there is always hope. A breakup may attempt to shatter this hope, but try not to let it. Things have nowhere to go but up, so that’s the direction they will head. Who knows, one day you may actually look back on this breakup as the best thing to ever happen to you.
6. Faking It Till You Make It Works
Faking it may be something you mainly do while in a relationship, at least for you ladies out there. Yet, it can also be helpful in broken circumstances, albeit with a different context. Faking it till you make it after a breakup means to get up each morning, get out of bed, get the things you need to get done (whether that’s work or paying bills or going to the gym), and get in touch with your support system. Fake happiness until you get there and, you just might find, you get there sooner than you ever expected.
To learn more about surviving a breakup, click here.