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Meeting women really comes down to knowing what to say to them.
By Michael Griswold — Last updated on Jul 25, 2023
The question of how to meet women is one that, as a single man, you may ask yourself frequently.
Yet, no matter how many times you ask, you probably don't have a simple ‘black and white’ answer.
In fact, curiosity about how to meet women is often met with silence, except for the occasional cricket sarcastically chirping in the background.
This is because meeting women is so heavily tied to the question of how to talk to women. And that, quite frankly, is a question that comes with a whole new set of problems.
I say this because, in the world of dating, men cannot simply approach women and talk about whatever they want— at least not if they are playing by the rules of engagement.
You have to stay away from talking about anything that may be offensive and avoid taboo subjects. Religion is so off-limits that asking a woman if she goes to church is likened to ringing her doorbell and asking her if she has found Jesus.
Talking about politics, likewise, is more apt to result in a heated discussion than passionate lovemaking.
What this all means is that the question of ‘how to meet women’ simply comes down to what to talk about with them. And, because you'll be meeting them for the very first time, this comes down to icebreakers.
Here are five icebreakers to use on women (that actually work):
Icebreakers are not universal: what may indeed break the ice with one woman may leave you frozen out by another. Still, there are five icebreakers that tend to work with the majority of women. And these include:
1. Talking about the weather
Yes, talking about the weather is so cheesy that those who are lactose intolerant risk a reaction if they go this route. But talking about the weather is effective for two reasons.
First of all, it's extremely safe: everyone can discuss it, and no one can be offended by your observation that the clouds are looking rather cumulus today. Secondly, talking about the weather is transparent: women will know you are bringing it up merely to talk to them, and, lucky for you, most women will find this charming.
2. Talking about sports
This icebreaker isn't for everyone. Some women simply don't like or follow sports. Yet, this tactic can be very effective for the right women.
For example, you might find yourself next to a woman in an elevator who happens to be wearing a Boston Red Sox hat or has a Miami Heat cover for her iPhone. Asking if she caught last night's game or how she thinks the season is going so far is a wonderful way to start a conversation.
Even if it turns out that she isn't particularly a fan, you've at least got the ball rolling and that is exactly the point of an icebreaker. That's its job.
3. Offering a joke
Another icebreaker that is effective is the offering of a joke, something that can make the wonderment surrounding how to meet women a bit entertaining. But you must be careful about this.
Make sure your jokes aren't too racy and that they don’t involve any of the isms (sexism, racism, etc.).
Self-deprecating jokes are usually good, as long as they aren't too self-deprecating. They not only break the ice, but they also bring down a woman's defenses. They also make her laugh and, as many men know, the fastest way to a woman's heart is often through her funny bone.
4. Talking about them
This icebreaker is one you must do with tact. Being too cliché when talking about the girl you are wooing can come across as too Jack Jericho.
So, instead of walking up to the girl at your gym and asking, "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" go with something much more subtle.
A simple "you look really nice in red" will almost always get a more favorable response than something that sounds like an "insert name here" pickup line.
5. Asking how they are
The final icebreaker is also the most obvious. It’s merely asking a woman how they are. It's simple but effective. Just think of all the love "How you doin’?" got Joey Tribbiani. More than Chandler and Ross put together.
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Michael Griswold is a romantic relationship coach based in Denver, Colorado who helps men and women heal broken hearts and find love again.