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Breaking-up could be the best thing to happen. For you, your ex, and for your relationship.
By Michael Griswold
Last updated on Sep 01, 2023
Breaking up isn't fun unless you enjoy the feeling of having your heart ripped out, stomped on, and left flatter than a pancake. It hurts us emotionally, psychologically, and, perhaps, even physically. Yet, as awful as it may be, breaking up can sometimes have its advantages. It can pave the way for personal improvement and a better understanding of relationship dynamics.
We aren't suggesting you should routinely break up with your partner the way you should take an aspirin every day or get regular exercise. There's no reason to interfere with relationships that are solid and healthy. But, if a break-up occurs, either suddenly out of the blue or as a result of something you saw coming a mile away, it's possible to turn the negative into a positive.
Rather than drinking a bottle of wine or memorizing each of the words to "All By Myself," consider the following.
5 ways you can benefit from a break-up.
1. Break-ups allow you to make positive changes.
According to a study conducted in 2003 at the University of Minnesota, a break-up can result in both mental and physical health benefits. To prove this, the researchers focused on 92 students who had recently gone through a break-up. Among these students, they found patterns of calmness, closer friendships, healthier eating habits, enhanced physical fitness, and, overall, a more fulfilling life.
This may be because a break-up gives us a chance to break free from the monotony of a stale relationship. We can come back rejuvenated, remade, and, ultimately, better than ever. It may also be because a break-up provides us with the inspiration to make ourselves better: If we want to be enticing to an ex, for instance, we best be looking good. Damn good.
2. Break-ups allow you to forget about absolutes.
All too often, those in relationships think in terms of absolutes; they either think "We will never break up" or "This will never work." Either way, it's never or never. However, thinking in absolutes isn't healthy, because, quite simply, there are no absolutes in life (except for death, taxes, and hitting every red light when you're already late for work). Break-ups remind us of this, and teach us to appreciate (or at least accept) the concept of not knowing and to realize not knowing is actually something we can handle.
3. Break-ups give you a second chance.
Though the statistics vary widely depending on who you ask, some surveys suggest as many as 75 percent of people reunite with an ex at some point. When thought of this way, a break-up can very much give you a chance at another shot at love; or at least give three out of four people another shot.
Then, who knows, a second time around may be the round that proves successful. As an added bonus, because you went through a break-up, you will be better equipped to handle some of the issues that will inevitably arise or better able to avoid them altogether.
4. Break-ups give you insight.
Insight is something we all strive for. We constantly analyze the actions of others, we obsessively wonder what people are thinking, and we even look towards the ol' Magic Eight Ball for some sort of clarification as to where our relationship is heading. Break-ups, because they are a time when all the cards, all the grievances, and all the frustrations are laid out on the table, can offer us the insight we so greatly covet. This allows us to go forward, more insightful, and thus much more successful, than ever.
5. Break-ups give you appreciation.
A break-up is never the end of a relationship; as mentioned above, reconciliation is always a possibility. Once this reconciliation occurs, you are awarded with a deeper appreciation for your partner. This allows you to better love them effortlessly and completely.
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Michael Griswold is a relationship and life coach who uses his expertise to help men and women heal broken hearts and find love again.