A wet mouth, a special kiss, a little talk and a lot of you.
Are you giving rotary dial blowjobs? That’s where you phone it in and your man treats it like a wrong number.
Well, it’s time to make that call sound like he just won the lottery. Here’s how to give him the best blowjob in 4 mindblowing moves:
1. Make your mouth wetter than it's ever been.
Nobody gets into the blowjob hall of fame with a dry mouth. How can you get your juices flowing?
Do this: Visualize biting into a lemon. Feel the tart juices? You’ll feel something else too — saliva pooling in your mouth. Your body produces it to fight the perceived acidity.
There’s a second way of moisturizing your mouth: Gleeking. Put the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth until it induces a yawn (about 30 seconds). What’s the by-product of yawns? Saliva.
Enjoy your soup.
2. French kiss the head of his penis.
That’s a move few women know about because it almost doesn’t make sense. Why would you move your tongue across his glans if his penis is already in your mouth? Because it feels so amazing the laziest guy on earth will turn to you and say, "You make me want to get a job."
Here’s how to do it: As you bob up and down "french kiss" his glans. Pretend you’re making out with his penis. Interestingly, the tongue rarely gets fatigued as it’s made up of eight different muscles.
3. Say it out LOUD.
Most blowjobs operate on 4 senses — sight, touch, smell, and taste. That’s a little like riding a bike through the park — nice and pleasant but not particularly memorable. Better to tour the Grand Tetons on a Harley but to do that you have to add the fifth sense: hearing.
What should you say? I don’t want to put words in your mouth (you don’t know where my words have been!), but I can tell you this: It doesn’t matter. It’s THAT you say, not WHAT you say.
4. Turn yourself on.
This is without question the most effective way to light him up like an all-night liquor store. Ask any guy: Would you rather get blown by a woman who knows great techniques or a woman who’s so turned on that she practically begs you for it?
Here’s why guys choose the latter: Passion trumps skills. Good techniques may make him feel good but a passionate experience launches him to the top of the sexual vortex.
Don’t get me wrong — techniques are important but who wants to be a skilled laborer when you can be a passionate lover?
The question then becomes, how do you turn yourself on during a blowjob? Concentrate on what you like about his erection. It is, after all, Masculinity’s Main Representative. It is strong, it is hard, and it must be said, without conscience.
But I digress.
The point is to get in touch with what you like about your partner’s erection. Is it the dimensions — thick, long, or the size of the Florida Panhandle? Is it the shape — straight as six o’clock or curved like a gravy boat? Or is it the emotional aspect? For example, his erection is proof of your desirability, is it not?
Four moves and he's done.
Have you ever eaten a kale salad without dressing? Not good. So, "gleek", visualize biting into a lemon, or suck on a hard candy before the action begins. Then kiss his penis like the antidote is in there.
Next, talk dirty and often to put some vrrrrooooom in his room. And finally, prioritize your pleasure. The more pleasure you get the more you'll deliver.
Michael Alvear is the author of Blow Yourself Away: Turn Blowjobs Into A Mind-Blowing Experience For YOURSELF.