I was reading the news on the internet the other day and I read an article about Barack Obama’s speech on his job initiative and I read how he was talking about Republicans as constant nay says no matter what he says. “If I say the sky is blue, they will say no it isn’t” he said. He also referenced Republicans as “talking about him like a dog”.
You see that isn’t very nice nor is it very neighborly, but that is what you expect in politics, right? And sometimes that is what happens in our relationships too, right? Yes, but does it really have to be that way? Is there maybe something that is worth looking at here, maybe a different way of communicating with each other? What I think President Obama was trying to say is that there is no need for useless conflict or childish tantrums. Stand for what you believe in and speak to each other in an appropriate and respectful manner.
The same can be said about when relating to your partner or potential partner. What kind of words are we choosing to communicate with and are we using these words to connect with the person, to keep that person at a distance or to create an illusion of who we are so they can like us? What happens when the illusion dissipates? You are faced with the true you and the true him/her and now what?
The way we connect with each other comes out in the words we use, even if it is just to chat casually or to engage in deep conversations. There is energy behind the words, because there is energy behind the reason why someone chooses the words. When someone is inauthentic or insecure, it shows in the choice of words. If you want to attract Mr. or Mrs. Right you must employ simple, clear and engaging words; soft and warm words, over cold or hard words. Be authentic and don't be afraid to show that you are human too, no one is perfect. Being forthcoming is key.
Even the amount of words makes the difference. If you respond to questions in a short and quick manner, it might send a message to the other person that you are not interested while you are, but are just a bit insecure of what and how to say things. Stand true to you and know that if you are standing in front of Mr. or Mrs. Right, they will like you for who you are and not for who you are trying to be.
The inauthenticity affects us to the core and shapes our response, behavior and attitude. Be careful about painting a picture about yourself that is too far from the truth. You will loose that person in the end anyway because they weren’t able to see the all of who you are.
Nowadays, more than ever, the way we speak and talk to each other is key to our relationships, our mindset and our quality of life. President Obama was just having us notice that we can Love each other, even if we don’t like each other, through the way we speak and the words we use. There are ways and ways to say something. Some ways can get the results we seek others can take us on a detour with no return and some leave us stuck, so why not choose the one that generates results.