Do you have a bully in your life that won’t go away? I did.
I finally stood up to my bully. I didn’t really realize I had a bully until a few weeks ago, when I was in a heated conversation with this person, I had a light bulb go off that said to me: “he is bluffing…he is trying to get the most out of you and get what he wants”. And then in that moment I knew I was being bullied.
This was an ex of mine (but your love bully can be your current partner, someone who is very controlling and bossy in many areas of you relationship) and because of our past together I came to realize that the Love that once brought us together was the excuse for one of us to control and dominate the other. I hadn’t yet experienced this and I was kind of taken by surprise. I like to think that I am a bit naïve when it comes to Love and I just could not imagine someone doing what this person was doing to me. I stood up in that moment and shouted as tears fell down my cheeks “I am not afraid of you! You don’t scare me anymore! I will not allow you to bully me anymore!”.
That was the first step to my declaration of independence. There will be a few more steps to take but I am so grateful I saw the signs and I took action. After this experience, I told myself that I had to share it and the lessons so that if someone else is going through the same or similar situation, maybe my experience can help them.
So here are the top 3 signs that you are dealing with a Love bully:
1. You find yourself accommodating your partner or ex. You actually do everything you can to make sure that person is happy with you even if it means compromising yourself; you avoid confrontation with them.
2. When around or talking to this person you feel small and a bit powerless. You feel you have to keep the peace and bend over backwards so the person does not get mad or takes his or her attention from you because of something you did; you are afraid they might silently punish you.
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