But even if you're right, no matter how gentle you are in approaching her, she may not appreciate your efforts. Some women mistake controlling tendencies like frequent check-ups as love.
She doesn't associate his behavior with a dangerous need to be in control. She might be convinced that, despite his flaws, she can't live well without him.
3. Don't criticize or bully her while trying to help. If she hasn't confided that she's unhappy or concerned about what you view as her spouse's inappropriate behavior, proceed carefully so you don't cause her to feel judged or misunderstood.
Don't challenge or criticize her. If you're right about her situation, she's already experiencing more than enough criticism and bullying.
Instead of asking, "Why do you let him get away with this?" or complaining about how her partner acts toward her, it might be wiser to ask her what you can do to be of assistance to her.
If she seems receptive to these questions, tell her how concerned you are about her relationship. Reassure her that you are there to listen and remind her that help is available if she needs it.