To love yourself, you must also develop your selfishness muscle. I know a bit about this, as I am recovering from breast cancer. The breasts literally exist for nurturing, sex, and feeding. I gave and gave and gave, thinking it would grant me love in return. Instead, it wore my spirit and my body out. Looking at the scar where my breast used to be, I am astounded at the love that came to me when I simply said, "I surrender." People, from ex-boyfriends to long-lost friends, stepped up to help me in my hour of need. I wondered whether I should have learned to ask for support before life brought me to my knees.
Now, I'm not suggesting that if you over-give and forget yourself you are going to get cancer, but it doesn't help matters. If you really crave true romance and an ideal partner, here are my five tips for making sure you are ready to receive love before you enter the dating market:
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1. Write out your intention for the relationship. How do you want to feel and be treated? How does your partner live his life? What is your spiritual goal for the relationship?
2. Make a list of all the things your previous partners had in common—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then, next to each item, make a note if it reminds you of one or both of your parents.
3. Make a list of what you most want to receive from the relationship. When you have a partner, ask them to do the same and trade lists. Are you willing to love them in the way they want to be loved—so that you can be loved in the way you want to be loved?
4. Track how you spend your time for one month. Now, go through your time inventory with a highlighter and highlight all the activities you love doing. In another color pen, circle all the activities you don't like doing. Are you willing to be self-loving enough to ditch, delegate, or re-design these activities to suit you?
5. Create a dream board of images that reflect your true feelings about love, relationships, sex, marriage, and family. Put it in a place where it's the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you see before you go to bed at night. You are programming your subconscious to help you focus on attracting what you most desire. For additional success, release everything materially that isn't useful, beautiful, or essential to your life. Make sure that whatever you put your eyes and hands on stirs up love in your heart.
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To learn more about how to master healthy self-love and selfishness in your life, please check out Baeth's interview—up for the next 24 hours—at www.loveonpurposerevolution.com. You can claim your FREE Life Purpose starter kit at www.YourPurpose.com.