I am reclaiming my feminine sparkle—and oh, it's soooo fun! As a little girl, I spent hours playing with dolls and dressing up in my mother's fancy clothes. I loved to sing and dance around the living room. I was free and light hearted.
And then…when I was 14, my parents divorced. I remember telling myself that it was no big deal and to not cry. And then I had my heart broken a few times. And then I got married. And then I got divorced. And in that process, I poured my creative energy into my business. And then I found out that I had a breast tumor. Can you say "heart lessons?"
That tumor was a GIFT…yes, a gift. When people say that they want to "fight" cancer, I grow concerned for their well being. Your body doesn't want to kill you—it cries out to get your attention. What you "fight," you resist. And if you are in a female body, "fighting" isn’t feminine and fighting is pointless.
I realized that everything that felt "bad" in my life was the POINT OF POWER for making my life more feminine: joyful, magical, inspiring! I examined everything that led me to surgery and beyond. I discovered that I had learned to be a good soldier, but not a receptive woman.
Today, I'm going to share with you the 3 keys I've discovered to becoming more feminine in your business and your life. Enjoy!
Key #1: WAITING.
Yes, "WAITING." Now, that's not what you're told to do, is it?
Instead, a lot of what you hear is:
- "Take massive action!"
- "Act NOW!"
- "Stop procrastinating!"
- "Kill two birds with one stone." (Yuck!)
- "If you say 'yes' right now, you are making the right decision." (Um, not necessarily.)
- "Fail to plan, plan to fail."
Did you know that Oprah is a self-proclaimed "non planner?" Yes, Oprah. And Oprah clearly takes a lot of action. However, what is the difference between Oprah's approach and yours?
Oprah WAITS for the inner guidance to act. According to Human Design theory, 92% of the world’s population is designed to "wait." Only 8% are true manifestors who can barrel forward with their plans and meet huge success. Now, that's a relief right? Explains why so many of your big plans were big flops!
The key is to wait to RESPOND to any and all offers, opportunities and requests—even wait before blurting out your "inspired" ideas. When someone asks you a question, asks you a favor, asks you to buy—WAIT to respond. When you ask someone a question, ask them a favor or ask them to buy—WAIT for their response. Feel into your body for a deep inner response in your pelvic region before responding. Learn to hear your own body’s 'yes' or 'no' response. This response can happen in moments or take hours, days, even months.
Have you ever met someone who gave you the creeps? You know it immediately, right? Your belly clenches, or maybe you get a metallic taste in your mouth—your body signals you immediately: "Danger, danger. Walk away."
How about the opposite, when something feels really "right?" I do NOT mean the giddy, crazy feeling you have at a high-powered, high-pressured sales event and you feel so "excited" that you can't eat your lunch. That is NOT a "right" feeling—it is fear—and it is trying to get you to SLOW down. (Sales people are moaning around the world! If you do "sales" with love, there is zero pressure involved. Same info applies to love relationships. If you are having this "crazy, out of control" feeling romantically, it's a warning sign to slow down.)
I am referring to that "right" feeling you have after eating a meal that nourishes your body and soul, that "right" feeling you receive when you meet your sister's new beau and you feel calm and happy inside, that "right" feeling that floods your heart when you hang up after a successful, nurturing call with a client. There is NO drama with the "right" feeling. Let me repeat that: "There is NO DRAMA with the RIGHT FEELING." Only calm, joy, peace, love. You are surrendered to the highest good for all concerned. You have faith that you are making the right decision. You trust yourself.
So, why don't you wait, if it feels so good? That leads to Key #2.
Key #2: Waiting is MAGNETIC.
The reason it is so darn hard to "wait" is because we live in a world created and dominated primarily by the manifestors. Think about the pyramids: owned by pharaohs, built by slaves. So you continually receive a masculine message of "act now," "hurry up," "go, go, go!"
You may fear that if you wait, nothing will happen. So you pursue that man (you just "know" that you're supposed to be together), that job, that client, that project deadline. You plan and implement as ideas come rushing in.
You get: overwhelmed, exhausted, angry, frustrated, defeated, sad, depressed, lonely, down on yourself. You may even feel like a failure and think, "How come nothing is working? How come things just don't turn out the way I want them to?"
Let me explain what happens when you wait. Last week, I was at a conference where I had been invited to speak. I had responded "yes" after a couple of weeks of waiting until I got an inner yes!
I've been experimenting with this "feminine" energy principle, so I wore a red dress with red nails, gold jewelry and high heels to the conference. (I rarely wear red—though that is changing!)
Later in the day, I noticed I was sitting alone at my table. I had this immediate impulse to get up and go find a group to sit with. Instead, I paused, took a deep breath and "waited." Within minutes, three men and one woman were sitting and conversing with me. I formed new relationships with two of those people that I suspect will be life-changing in several positive ways.
I chuckled to myself when I realized that taking my own advice was not only effective, it was easy, effortless and as simple as waiting for what I wanted to come to me, rather than going after it. When I've gone after things, I may have had an initial win, but invariably, I felt empty, dissatisfied or incomplete. And oh, really burned out.
If you can stand the discomfort of waiting patiently, all you want will be drawn to you. This also applies while sitting in traffic, waiting in line or doing your taxes. Set your intention, wait for a response and then take action.
Key #3: Say "NO."
Did you know that "yes" is a masculine word and "no" is a feminine word? That's where that whole playing hard to get thing comes from! And the thing is, you should be "hard to get" if you are committed to your well being and truth. No one else's agenda can knock you off your center if you are committed to you.
Whatever we give away easily is typically not valued. So when you over-give as a woman, you move into your masculine and therefore the masculine people around you do less, not more. They don't meet your hard work with more hard work. They simply do less.
I have little doubt that the spiritual cause of my breast tumor was over-giving. I'll never forget the day my step-daughter handed back her allowance to me and said, "I can’t take this. It's too much. You do too much. I feel wrong taking this. I don't deserve it."
So what was I doing? What many women do: "doing" to get love, "doing" to get approval, "doing" to feel important.
So now I say "no." And sure, some people don't like it. They just go away. Most people respect me for it.
Saying "no" and meaning it is vital to healthy relationships. When you don't say "no" when you need to, you are setting up a web of white lies in your relationships. And health and healing depend on living in the truth. The truth really does set you free. When you are honest, you are drawing in more of what you desire and less of what you don't.
If you are willing to risk being unpopular and risk being "not needed" by others, you may just experience the rich opportunity of all…living the life you were designed to live!
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