Preparing For A Sexy Old Age Start Now!


Practical tips for staying sexually healthy and active as we age.

Preparing for a Sexy Old Age : Start Now!

Maintain cardiovascular health – Healthy sexual functioning requires good blood flow for both men and women. If you haven’t already, find a form of exercise that you enjoy and that gets your heart rate up. Make time to exercise at least 4 times a week and be consistent. Also be vigilant about other threats to your cardiovascular health – quit smoking and learn habits for good nutrition.


Minimize alcohol and recreational drug use – Both alcohol and marijuana can have a depressant effect which can decrease sex drive. Overuse of alcohol or recreational drugs often have negative impact on your relationship and physical health. If you are having a problem controlling your drug or alcohol use or worry about your use, seek help, don’t wait for it to get worse.

Come to peace with your body and aging - One element of being happy with your body is to work on staying fit and healthy and, if desired to practice anti aging strategies. There is an overwhelming amount of info out about how to do these things and no doubt new strategies will be available to us on an ongoing basis. However, no matter how vigilant or extreme your approaches are to slow down aging, you will age and your body will change over time. Now is the time to identify painful, self critical thoughts and to address them. Realize that the images you see in the media are not real men and women but computer generated images of “perfected” people with wrinkles, ripples, body inches and bulges erased. Begin to explore the ways that you are sexy and desirable other than your looks. If you find it is really difficult to focus on positive aspects of your body or that you are often distracted with concerns about the way you look, seeking out therapy support may be a good choice.

Find sexy role models who are a cohort ahead of you – Happily, there are now increasing numbers of older men and women in the media who are presented as sexual and appealing. This is enlarging our cultural mindset about aging and sexuality. However, we also have to be aware that most of these role models are able to go to extreme lengths to maintain their looks. And the images we see of them are “corrected” to represent a perfected look, impossible for most of us. Look to people in your life who have aged in a way that inspires you. Maybe you have a great aunt who dated late in her life and looked like she was having a great time. Maybe you have a neighbor down the street who seems full of life in a way that is sexy to you.

Give and receive a lot of touch – Touch is good for you in so many ways, many of which boost your mood, immunity and your sense of happiness with your partner.  Consciously reaching out to touch others, in sexual and nonsexual ways, keeps us connected. Like a perfumer can train their sense of smell to be stronger, you can actively keep your sense of touch strong and alive, which can allow you to enjoy more subtle forms of sexual touch. If you find you are not being touched often – ask for touch from people you love, seek out massage, get a cuddly pet.

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Melissa Fritchle


Melissa Fritchle, MA, LMFT, is a holistic psychotherapist with a private practice in Capitola, CA specializing in sexuality and couple's issues. She is also an engaging sex educator traveling within the US and globally to support positive sexuality.

Visit her website to read her blog, Conscious Sexual Self, and for upcoming opportunities to connect with Melissa.

Location: Capitola, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MA
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Sexuality
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