Hurt feelings. Or rather a life without hurt feelings is the holy grail of relationship prospecting. At least that is true with the women who work with me. Each type, Scarlett, Snow White and Rapunzel are shocked to discover they have aligned themselves with that belief. There is a flawed premise hiding under every love sabotage habit.
Once upon a time, an unconscious wish was wished that you could find someone who would never hurt your feelings. Under that is the flawed premise that you can find love without any pain. Wouldn't it be nice, a dreamy 14 year old you thought, wouldn't it be nice if I could meet a man who is really nice to me and really understands me and never hurts my feelings?
Dreamy teenage idealism coupled with floods of brain induced love chemicals make the body literally buzz with excitement and passion. When that first big crush happens, there is a tiny but precious window before your first big heartbreak, when you experience the best feeling you have ever known or will ever know again.
That intoxicating experience is part of your physical nature, it is a mechanical process to get your attention. We are animals first and the instincts for mating are hardwired into our chemistry. The brain is designed to release chemicals in response to biological timing and those beginning tidal waves of the inner chemistry of passion dive deep, planting seeds of desire that demand fulfillment.
Adolescence is that time. The inner chemistry of a girl from the ages of 13 to 23 is as dramatic as you want to paint it. These are powerful drives driven by hard wired inner chemistry from the oldest parts of your brain. Girls flirt with everyone, including their friends' boyfriends. It is the genesis of betrayal and jealousy among women and many never recover.