What Cameron is suggesting is that should his child be gay, that he or she should make a choice between being who they are and doing what he thinks is "right." In other words, who they are in their very core is wrong. His message: be something else so you can be on the "right" side of things. When a parent questions the very essence of their child's identity and uses words like "unnatural," "detrimental," and "destructive" to describe their very selves, the wounds that are cut are deep and incredibly painful and rarely solved by choosing between "right" and "wrong" behavior. Kirk Cameron Responds To Backlash Over His Anti-Gay Remarks
The role of Dad
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Children need both of their parents. The lack of healthy fatherly role models is correlated with many of the most grievous of the ills in society: poverty violence, incarceration, drug usage, suicide, and abuse. On the flip side, healthy fathers play an incredibly meaningful role in helping their kids grow into securely attached, healthy adults.
What Kirk Cameron may have forgotten as he answered Piers' question is the role that a father plays in his son's life. As Larry Cappel, licensed marriage and family therapist shares, "For a boy, his first and most important male relationship is with his father. It is the model for all of his future male relationships. If he doesn't get authentic validation from his father growing up, as an adolescent and young adult he'll try to deaden the pain of his shame through his relationships with other men." Parenting 101: Your Kids Will Model Your Behavior
Advice for Kirk: So what if your kid's gay? What's a parent to do?
Dr. Dorree Lynn recently shared how a parent who may be feeling sad, embarrassed, or even ashamed can best handle when their kid comes out of the closet. Her advice says it best: Advice For Parents
For me, the scary thing after researching this article is that I don't believe that Kirk Cameron wants to hurt his children; I simply think he's doing what his faith tells him to do. Yet, the impact of that belief system causes pain and suffering for any child born into a family with similar beliefs.
For all of the parents out there with kids who are struggling with their sexual identity, please think before you shame. Think before you blame and think before you speak. You are more important to your child than you will ever know and your words are like boulders on their heart when you judge or shame them. 5 Reasons Gay Men Have Bigger Balls Than Straight Men
Think about that Kirk, and God willing, this position you're discussing is something that if you're faced with the reality of having a gay child that you would re-think it. My hope for you, or anyone else in your shoes, is that you would deal with this in a more loving way instead of simply invalidating your child's experience by saying, "you don't have to act on all of your feelings." For the gay kid, it goes much deeper than that.
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