How’s your F.I.N.E. factor these days? You know, ‘FINE’. How many times a day do you answer the following: “How ‘ya doin’ today? How’s work? How’s the family? How are the kids? How are your folks? How are you feeling? How’s the job? I have a feeling that the standard answer you give to most of these questions (and many others) is “Fine”.
Rumor has it that the real meaning of ‘FINE’ is:
Is the above acronym, freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional an accurate description(s) of you? Fine is often times the standard way we respond to other’s inquiries about our life. Typically, we don’t want to talk about the real issues we’re dealing with – even with those closest to us -- so a simple Fine suffices and we can switch the conversation to something else….like the weather or what looks good on the menu. Does avoiding a conversation about your life’s complications and aggravations work for you?
Are you one to keep your business to yourself for fear of being judged, criticized, misunderstood, controlled or laughed at? Or do you believe that people really don’t’ care, they just ask to make conversation? Perhaps you believe your life is rather boring and mundane, nothing of interest to report? And many of us don’t talk about our lives because we don’t want to burden others. These are just a few of the reasons a standard answer of ‘Fine’ is used millions of times a day throughout the world.
The other reason we don’t like to reveal what’s really going on is because the above acronym might actually have a real personal meaning for us. We do feel freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional (or a combination of those) much of the time and are not able to cope in a healthy way. Instead of talking it out with a trusted friend, family member or professional, we use external coping devices, such as liquor, food, gambling, drugs, sex, shopping etc. to numb the pain and confusion. We’re stuck in our own quicksand and can’t find an easy way out; or we’re just comfortable in the pain we’re in. With our destructive coping tools, we tend to stay stuck instead of pulling ourselves out to lead a healthier and fulfilling life.
What would a new, improved acronym look like? Imagine your life without the negativity, confusion, downward spiral and the feeling of being stuck in your own quicksand? Let’s put a new face on the old meaning of FINE. Those are my word choices….what about yours? What words would you describe a more accurate meaning of a positive FINE in your life? You have the power to change that negative acronym to a more positive and purposeful one.
Believe it or not, there are people who are concerned and interested in your life. If those closest to you aren’t the right choices, seek a professional who can be objective and skilled at partnering with you to find your new, positive acronym for FINE.