Fantasy about yourself
You have a long list of characteristics you want your man to have, but you don’t have half of them yourself! Are you as spiritual as Serita Jakes, TD’s wife? So why should he want you? You want Oliver Martinez, but do you look like Halle Berry?
This is another fantasy that is hindering you from meeting a man. You think you are more desirable than you really are. You were a 10 at 20 years old. But now? Even if you were to meet an Oliver Martinez (or whoever your fantasy man is) would he really be looking at you? Would you make his cut? Maybe. Take a good, hard look at yourself. Is there room for improvement? What would you need to change about yourself to actually GET the pretty boy? And are you prepared to fight off all the other Halles that would be chasing him? Some of you like your pretty boys, but have forgotten that pretty boys come with pretty boy (playa) drama.
More from YourTango: Five Reasons Why He Won’t Commit
You’re the Fantasy
OK. So you really are a 10, every guy’s fantasy. You do have the list of qualities that you are looking for in a match (you’re all that and a bag of chips – a Halle Berry with Serita Jakes’ spirituality, Martha Stewart in the home and Cathy Hughes in the boardroom) and you deserve the cream of the crop. No man can touch you because you are better, smarter, more spiritual and two steps ahead of every man. You’re unobtainable. You’ve tried internet dating, speed dating, matchmaking services, but no one meets your standard. EVER. And you are still alone.
You’ve got it going on and won’t settle. Nor should you settle. That is not what I am saying.
More from YourTango: How To Shop For Mr. Right
But where is he? How long will you wait? You’re pushing 40 years old and still looking for him. Heck, some of you are pushing 50 and you still haven’t met a decent brother? No, it’s YOU! You’ve turned down the perfectly nice guys for a FANTASY that is not coming.
Whether you have one or more of the above issues going on, there is hope! You can change at any time. If you now realize you’ve been in a fantasy relationship, you can get out. If you realize you have some work to do on yourself, do it! You were looking for a fantasy, but now you realize he may not be perfect (neither are you!).
Your guy may not be the Denzel lookalike. He might not have a body like Tyrese. I’m not saying that he will be ugly, just that he may not look like your ‘fantasy’ man.