Make sure your next relationship is an upgrade
Don’t waste anymore time trying to fix your relationship that will never be….
1- Take him/her off that pedestal First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift. He/She wasn’t that perfect, if they were- you wouldn’t be single right now! I know it’s tough to hear, but it’s completely necessary! Make a list of his/her annoying traits in the meantime! he he
2- Avoid his friends & their hangout places If you want to avoid the temptations that come with bumping into an ex, you might have to make some sacrifices. You might have to cut ties with some of your mutual friends. You might have to avoid some of your favorite bars (because they’re his/her favorite bars, too). Trust me, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.
3- Don’t try to get your stuff back You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at his/her place. Consider it gone. The $50 you’re going to have to spend to replace a few DVDs is a small price to pay to avoid an ex who could be either desperately needy or irrationally angry.
4- Get closure If you’re going to end this thing, end it. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup, not a “break.” In my opinion, there is no such thing as a “break”. It’s just another word for complicated or heartache. The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people so end things completely before things get sloppy.
5- No Contact. This seems to be the most difficult rule for people to obey! After you’ve gotten closure, don’t contact him/her. End of Story. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. By staying in touch with old flames, you’re asking for months (if not years) of on-again-off-again uncertainty. So, throw out his/her phone number, stop texting and unfriend him/her on Facebook, if necessary! Out of sight- out of mind!
6- Hang out with your friends One of the things you had to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was time with your friends. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with the friends you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic.
7- Make sure your next relationship is an upgrade One last thing you want to be certain of is that your love life is moving in the right direction. If your rebound girlfriend/boyfriend is a train wreck, you could end up moving backward and reconnecting with your ex, only to waste another year or two of your life on a relationship that’s doomed to fail.
8- Exercise your newfound freedom Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. You’re free now!!! So stay out until four in the morning or hop on a plane to Vegas with your friends! Taking pleasure in all of those things that you couldn’t do in your relationship is a great way to get over your ex.
9- Remember the bad times It’s pretty common for girls/guys to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk he/she had, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your sex life used to be. This is okay and normal, but if you would like to get over him/her fast you need to SNAP out of it! Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect his/her bad habits and shady behavior. It’s like taking a cold shower!
10- Work out Without a boyfriend/girlfriend taking up all of your free time, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, I’d suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. And don’t forget: The gym is a great place to meet people!