“I love you!” Heck, how many times have you told someone you just met in the ladies room after a few cocktails that you love them? We throw that phrase around like a rag doll these days. Don’t confuse it for the real thing, if that’s what you really want; a genuine reflection of caring and respect. About shacking up: in today’s economy, maybe it will take a load off him emotionally and financially to have a live-in booty call who helps pay rent. I have interviewed many, many men, and let me say this: being a roomie doesn’t mean he will marry you or is committed to you. Likely it’s convenient, and he doesn’t want to be alone either, and NO, more time will not convince him otherwise; he will just become resentful of you (and of himself for not knowing himself better) and then feel guilty when he eventually bails. So what if his friends like you? Is this a personality contest, are they in relationships, are they happy? And FYI, heads up; his friends are almost always a reflection of the kind of guy he is! That he thinks he’s a great guy isn’t the best testimonial—likely a guy who’s tooting that horn is waving a red flag!
More from YourTango: How to Date and Mate Like You're Rich...for Free!
I don’t want to see anyone else but you. (and some time has proven this)
I know who I am and what I want.
I think we make a great team!
Move in with me. (no commitment other than this)
I want to share my life with you.
Spend your life with me.
Okay, Ideally these words would be a precursor for sexual intimacy. Why not? Because I am a religious fanatic? Uh uh. I am not. Because I have been witness to what happens when we don’t slow down and check out the goods, know who we are and what we want, interview well, master some relationship skills, and then pick a partner. Pain, pain, throw in some suffering (or a lot) and oh, yeah, usually more pain. What I am saying is, slow down. Wait. Take the relationship for a test drive. Gather all your information. Make sure the feet and hands match. History tells us that when we don’t, we are setting ourselves up for trouble. It’s not a theory, it’s a fact! Look at your relationship history and you will see that hindsight serves you. Take care to learn from those choices and have a plan so you are less inclined to make them again.
More from YourTango: Show Me You Love Me
A man who knows he wants to be with you is different from a man who wants you—take note. A man who wants to shack up is different from a man who wants to share his life with you. Pay attention! A man who puts a ring on your finger is more likely to love, honor and respect you, as he believes in the sacred agreement of marriage (and you know his track record there because you’ve done your other homework), and so on. These distinctions often take time to make—again, you are worth the effort and time, and there is plenty of time for sex! Absolutely. In case you’ve forgotten, we have other senses; in the meantime, use and enjoy them. While you’re at it, take some time to decide what your secret code is, your password for love, and tattoo it on your body—or at least keep it in a safe place, one you can’t forget. You ARE SO WORTH IT!