If the answer is yes, you do have trust issues. In that case, if he’s out drinking with your friends more than once in a while or you’re deliberately left behind and he’s not respecting you, deal with it directly. If you’re sure this relationship is worth the energy, set strong boundaries that give you room to heal that trust between you. There is no need to be with someone who doesn’t want to feel, deal, heal and BE with you! In Between Relationships; 10 Antidotes To Loneliness!
"I’ve been married for six months and my best friend just came to live with us for a while since he lost his job. I just found out that my wife used to date him and while I’m not totally comfortable with this, I am going on location for a few weeks as I am an actor and will be leaving them alone. My wife is a gorgeous model and honestly would be hard for anyone to resist but I’m just hoping she can. Should I say anything before I leave?" -Fingers Crossed in L.A. Feeling Tempted To Call An Ex?
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Hmmm, actors, models, L.A., and marriage. Your best bet is to speak now or you’ll be forever holding your Oscar instead of your wife. Here are three realistic concerns for you to consider:
1. You’re just finding out about their past dating after he moves in, that’s not too weird, right?
2. You don’t seem to trust either your wife or your best friend.
3. You might be projecting; that is, you might not be able to resist your wife’s unemployed best friend that you used to date but neglected to mention it until she moved in.
Wake up and smell the statistics of marriages in California and do everything you can to avoid being one of them! Start by talking it through with your wife. You committed to love, honor, and respect each other. The first year can be especially rocky as we leave our single selves and all our history behind. Just hold her hand, tell her the truth and take the next step which might be to move your friend and temptation to a nearby hotel.
"I have been with my wife for 14 years and married for 12. We've had an open relationship for most of our life together and everything seemed to be fine except for the last 3 years. She has been spending more time with this one man and it’s causing a strain on our relationship. When I asked her nicely to cut back, she would play it off and find reasons to spend more time with him. I started getting more firm about them spending less time together. She said that I was driving her into his arms and things got worse from there." What Rush Limbaugh Can Learn From Eleanor Roosevelt
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"I said that if we were going to work things out, he would have to be out of our lives. He finally left and things got much better. Then, she recently came up with a reason to talk to him again and said I had nothing to worry about. Soon, we were right back to having the same troubles. I love my wife, faults and all and will never give up hope that we can make things work. I will always try but I just don’t know what to do." -Kevin