How can you spice up your relationship without getting into trouble?
“My wife and I keep hearing about ‘date night’ and we do it, we go to the movies and have dinner, but we are looking for some ways to spice things up that won’t get us in any trouble.” Scott, Arizona
Great question, Scott! Just after David and I were engaged we had started to settle into the relationship the way we can after some of the newness deepens into a different level of intimacy. A few of our natural tendencies or personality traits became more obvious to each other. For example, I was clearly the more outgoing one, and would start a conversation at the drop of a hat or even make a new friend between appetizers and dessert. David is more reserved and observant, prone to listen intently, becoming the wise oracle by night’s end; a fun combination, one we both enjoy and respect in each other. Because we don’t have any negative judgment about these traits, we continue to have fun pointing them out and even relying on them. One night I thought it would be fun to reverse the roles of the extroverted, gabby fortune-teller role that I often played, with the role of the benevolent king with hidden treasures of mystery and wisdom that he naturally just is.
I thought of it one evening while we sat at the bar and waited for our table. I just blurted it out “’kay, you be me and I’ll be you!” I whispered excitedly in his ear. He looked at me, slightly puzzled, but caught on because he knew this wasn’t really a request, it was what was happening. Because he has an adventurous nature and trusts me, he immediately got on the train. I looked at the lady sitting by herself next to David and said, “You should let him read your palm, he’s amazing!” And I sat back and kept quiet.
She said “Really?” and looked at him up and down like You have to be kidding me, right? David looks and behaves like Cary Grant. David looked at me and I could see him thinking OK, I’ll try anything once. The lady reluctantly held out her palm and, honest to God, 5 minutes later she was astounded at his keen insight and ability to see into her soul! Simultaneously the man to my left struck up a little chitchat with me. I sat back and never said a word, just listened to his list of current affairs and nodded and shook my head from time to time. At the end of which he mentioned that this was one of the best talks he’d ever had with someone he’s just met. I said he was clearly a man of many talents and wished him well.
When David and I huddled for review (after we died of laughter admiring each other in all our full glory) we both said we had an amazing experience of “trying each other on.” He said he was exhausted and I felt like I was going to explode, and we laughed at the irony in that.
So here’s your task, if you’re up for having some fun and need a new twist on date night…one, by the way, that won’t get you into any real trouble if your heart’s in the right place: Try each other on. Pick a strength that you admire in your partner (and vice versa) and take it for a test drive together. Then review and voila, there you have it. Creating intimacy and having fun at the same time!!
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This article was originally published at Maryanne Live . Reprinted with permission from the author.