Q~ My husband and I have been off and on for eight yrs. I left him five yrs. ago for being a jerk, really, but nothing like violence. I remarried him mainly for my kids: he's a good dad to them. I also feel that there is unfinished soul business between us. I feel we learn from each other and that I'm here with him for a reason. However, he's still this big jerk half the time: am I a masochist?
M~ Most unconscious relationship patterns are a breeding ground for personal development. However, whatever unfinished soul work you and your husband may have would probably be best hashed out with some less ambiguous boundaries than being married with children (if not for the kids’ sakes). Given that you seem to be the only one in the relationship who believes in your fate, I would say you sound like a woman trying to rationalize why your husband (not the father of your children) is treating you like crap, and agonizing over why you signed up for another go. People don’t change unless they want to; even then it takes a kind of vigilance that few of us have the chops for. Whatever you decide to do, know this: it’s amazing what we can get used to! Where do you want to be at 70, 80, 90, years old and with whom? With a jerkoff, or someone who you can look back and share warm and happy memories with? That, my dear, is the gift the great Divine gave us all—free will to choose!
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