I approach the digital oracle with menacing eyes and pull it from its hiding place behind the dirty clothes basket. I carefully and quickly place the shiny land mine on the bathroom floor and stand back, seeking the courage that will reveal my fate, I mean weight. "Oh mighty oracle, be kind," I silently plead, "let me not awaken the fiery Fat Gods, for their punishment is accordingly harsh. I cannot bear to see more or worse to be less." "Don't do it," my splendid self cries, "you are perfectly divine." “Yes, I reply, yes, but not here, you see. You call me from some other place where shapes are round and curve and move like liquid love. I live here not there. Here I cannot bear the threat of such a death, the loss of love and safety and security. I must fight this certain death. I am a soldier of love. My appetites are the enemy, I must fight them all!" You are a warrior Goddess fierce and true. I pay no heed to the tools I share in Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, I trample instead over her incantation and courageously flick the edge of the silver beast with my big toe until it mocks me… reading zero. The cruelest reminder that I can only fail. Zero? Zero. That's exactly nothing. No weight. Ah, the perfect weight… the perfect size. Perfect. Perfect?
Warrior Goddess harks, "We were not present when values were assigned. When zero, once the symbol for nothing and for empty space, was an inexplicable vastness that could not be known." She reminds me it was so very long ago when Zero was seized prisoner and shackled to its shadow. To which I reply "Ancient placeholder, indicator for the absence of something, why have you abandoned me? Do you love this perfection more than me? Do you extol the butterflies and bees, the wind and moon and not me?" Keep reading...
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